Monday, February 22, 2010

Good News on the Stalker Front!
























I almost hit him!

I know, right? How lucky could I be, besides, you know, hitting him and us actually meeting?

Slow down, stop dialing 911, I wasn’t TRYING to hit him.

Okay, maybe subconsciously since this is the 2nd time (the first time he was jogging) I’ve almost done it, but each time it’s HIM that veers into MY path.

I am, of course, taking this as a sign we are destined to be.

For all of you not up to speed, let me explain….
The very first day I ever visited the house I was going to move into, a guy was running on the beach - did I say guy? I meant god. 50’s salt and pepper, fit and running like a 30 year old - and he tripped right in front of me!

He then regained his balance and ran off, but it was love at first awkward/embarrassed glance for me!

Like all good stalkers (my roomie is very enabling) we have given him a name.

Allen Jacob Johnson (because if we are going to do this, we do it right!)

AJJ for short.

Since then my roomie and I are on look out (like I said, enabling).

So at any given time of the day you may hear “AJJ! AJJ! and everyone (including friends and the cable guy) will run to the windows to see if it’s him.

And yes, we drive by his house.

And yes, that picture is of the back of him running down the beach (squint, you can see him – like I said, he runs fast! By the time you get your camera out, he’s gone!)

And yes, I use that picture as a screensaver.

And yes we are considering night-vision goggles and telephoto lens.

And yes, I do realize my greatest hope for romantic happiness has come down to a cosmically-inspired automobile accident.

You know what? As long as my car insurance is up to date, I’m okay with that!

Anyway, gotta go, I’ve got binocular to clean.

7 comments:

  1. I am here due to your funny tweets.

    And because you still haven't given me the secret handshake.

    Ann

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  2. Has your stalking established whether or not he's married yet? hehehe

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  3. Oh, this takes me back to high school, when we drove past our latest "crushes" houses time after time on the weekends. In our fathers' sedans. Looking cool, I am sure. My father drove a Ford Fairlane. Best of luck to you. You look very attractive in your picture, so I am sure you will be successful. A tip from my daughter (the one who can't see very well) ANYBODY WHO USES TOM'S HERBAL DEODORANT PRODUCTS MORE THAN LIKELY HAS B.O. A word to the wise...

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  4. WOMAN, Run him to ground. Tackle if you must . Check for wedding band. Put on your flowery afternoon tea dress, a large white hat and saunter within view of the critter. Preferably in his path. Drop a lacy white hankie and clasp back of hand to forehead. Look fragile. Sway justa bit, as though you might fall ( see Barbara Cartland ).

    When and if he stops to assist you... Go all Kathy Bates on him. Headbutt him and drag him to a secret soundproof room and slowly... and sexily remove...Whew...I am going to take a cold shower... lol Kristi

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  5. HAHAHAHA I luv this... i am hoping to date after 40 too.. great stalking tips, we should exchange sometime :)

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  6. HAHAHAHA I luv this... i am hoping to date after 40 too.. great stalking tips, we should exchange sometime :)

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  7. Has your stalking established whether or not he's married yet? hehehe

    ReplyDelete