Yah, we live at the beach now. Right on the sand. Great, right?
Yes, about 95% of the time, the other 5%?
Well... Last night about 10pm, we notice someone sitting on the chairs on the beach RIGHT outside our bedroom windows. Okay, no biggie. A little weird, but we're cool with weird.
Um, then we realize it isn't one person, but two and I don't think they're dancing out there. #definitelynotdancing
What do my roommate and I do? Drop to the ground (well, because of the whole flashing thing. The first thing we ask? Did they see US?)
See us? I don't think they are seeing anything but endorphins right now.
So for an half hour we try turning on all the lights. Opening and SLAMMING closed the windows. Getting the dogs to bark. Nothing stops them.
Now we could call the police, but, duh, they're going to know who called it in and we really don't want to get a 'tattle-tale' rep in the neighborhood (of course we are total tattle-tales, but hey, the rest of the lane doesn't need to know that).
What do we do? Go to bed with fornication ten feet away?
Worse, binoculars are useless in the dark.
Bad combination = exhibitionist and tentative voyeurs! LOL
Finally, finally they stop and leave the beach.
Well, at least we learned three new, vital, items necessary for beach living.
Night-vision goggles, a spot light, and a blowhorn!
Ha! Try and have sex on our beach again!
#noseriously #trysowecanuseournewtoystochaseyouoff :-)
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Hilarious.
ReplyDeleteNext time try taking one of your dogs for a walk. I'm sure a few animals sniffing around them will move the beach boinkers along.
Just a thought.
LOL!! I'd have been tempted to get a bright flashlight and shine it down on them and then cheer. Or go all Mystery Science Theater on them and make comments (loudly) as they went at it, complete with flashlight. Or a laser pointer. Which brings on whole new ideas, of snipers and such. That's not evil is it?
ReplyDeleteI suggest a garden hose turned on them. It works for cats!
ReplyDeleteA doctor (which makes me hear dollar signs) and a bunch of dogs? If they're big ones (few men enjoy dogs they can't wrestle with) you sound like female gold to me!
ReplyDeleteA doctor (which makes me hear dollar signs) and a bunch of dogs? If they're big ones (few men enjoy dogs they can't wrestle with) you sound like female gold to me!
ReplyDeleteHilarious.
ReplyDeleteNext time try taking one of your dogs for a walk. I'm sure a few animals sniffing around them will move the beach boinkers along.
Just a thought.