Sunday, September 26, 2010

U.F.Os and Me

By U.F.O I mean the traditional sense of the word. Unidentified Flying Object.

By no means do I think they are extraterrestrial in origin, we just don't know what in the heck they are buzzing around late at night.

I mean, back in North Hollywood anything in the sky was either a police helicopter chasing an suspect on foot or a television helicopter chasing the police helicopter.

Now we've got bi-planes, birds, search and rescue helicopters. Not just that, but now that we live at the beach we've got U.W.O. Unidentified Water Objects.

We have lights that seem to multiply out on the bay after Harbor Patrol retires for the night. We have lights that skim over the water. We have lights that disappear then reappear half a mile away.

There are so many that one would just think that my Roomie and I would simply go to bed and ignore it like the rest of the neighborhood does, but come on. That is not in our nature.

We are the people that were freaked out by that huge star that kept appearing at different places in the sky every night. Ok, so it turned out to be the planet Venus but you get my point.

Our newest mystery is a pterodactyl. Fine, we aren't sure it is pterodactyl, but that is our working theory at the moment.

You see at the fair they have fireworks every night. Shockingly the dogs have gotten used to it so on one of the last night, Roomie and I head up to the balcony to watch them for once (rather than huddled in the closet with the dogs).

The fireworks were beautiful. Then in the middle of it a HUGE shadow passes by blocking our view. Both Roomie and I SWEAR it was in the shape of a pterodactyl.

No, we don't know why a prehistoric creature would pick the loud, crowded fair to show up then fly across at the height of the fireworks, but still!

What about if it has been flying across EVERY night, but we just saw it because of the fireworks?

So of course, we are now out nightly searching for our mystery flying dinosaur.

What can we say? It's better than watching re-runs LOL

Until next week (and our next totally ridiculous finding)!

Another, slightly more grounded mystery I solved is in print! Plain Jane. Just to warn you it was written after watching WAY too much C.S.I. and Criminal Minds so beware!

To sample 50 pages for free click here.
And here is a coupon (RH88E - use at check out) to bring the price down to $1.50! For a whole book! #yes #Iamagiver :-)

Sunday, September 19, 2010

My IBC Peeps

I know, it is shocking. I have joined a collective. Where I actually interact with other people.

#ok #fine It is usually by email, but still #Iwantpropsforit

What is this collective you ask? Well, it is a bunch of us writers who have been insane enough to market their own books.

I am not sure if you know but at major (and even some 'indie' bookstores) the placement of books (like the front table or the 'ladders' at the end of the aisles) is paid for by the publisher.

So basically if you don't have a HUGE marketing budget your book just gets thrown onto the shelves with no fan fare. Now if you indie publish you don't even have that.

You've got... well yourself. Which as you can imagine can be scary (not so much for me but that's another whole series of blogs) and not very profitable.

Because let's face it; if I ever want to convert from pre-celebrity status to true celebrity status I gotta sell some books :-)

If you are an author you really should head over to the IBC (click here) and if you are an avid reader, you should head over as well to check out some great new authors you wouldn't find anywhere else!

In the spirit of the collective where we are learning to be brazen and bold about talking about our books, I suggest to you #ok #fine #beg to check out my Patterson-style thriller Plain Jane (with just a dash of Silence of the Lambs thrown in :-)

Click here to read 50 pages of Plain Jane for FREE! Then if you wish to purchase, here is a 50% off coupon! RH88E

And don't forget to follow @indiebookIBC :-)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Hmm... The "Burn Notice" scale of dating

I think I have finally found the perfect way to tell whether or not I should go on a date after meeting on-line.

It boils down to this... Would I miss an episode of "Burn Notice," for the date?

And, yes I do have a DVR, however there are certain shows that simply MUST be watched the night they air. For my Roomie and I "Burn Notice" is one of them.

But then I realize that honestly "Burn Notice" and it's Michael Weston hotness and Bruce Campbell camp was simply too high a mark. I mean, with the exception of 2 exs, no old boyfriend would rate a date on this system (which may have been TMI, but hey, I'm a sharer ;-)

Now before you get all 'Carolyn, you are too picky,' remember there is also a dinner at stake. A FREE dinner. At the restaurant of my choosing. So actually this new technique is weighted TOWARDS the guy.

I mean, I WANT to get a free surf and turf meal over-looking the marina.

So after I got off the phone with the last internet 'date.' I thought even with a delicious shrimp and steak dinner: Would I miss "Burn Notice?" Um... no way, no how.

Okay, how about "Royal Pains?" Nope. Come on, the Evan character is sublime and I like to make fun of the medicine.

A repeat of CSI: Miami? No. I would actually rather watch Horatio and his over-dramatic sunglasses acting than go out with this guy.

I think this technique is so effective I want to share it with the men. You know, to help them up their game.

Then, I thought that idea through.

What would I say? "You seem like a nice guy and all, but I'd rather sit through the 'music video' portion of C.S.I. where they clean a gun to hard rock... that I've seen BEFORE... then go out with you." #don'tgetmestartedonceitisfallandCastleison

Um. True, but TMI :-) #see #Iamlearning :-)

Until next week!

You know something you might like to do rather than go on a lame date is read my Patterson-style thriller "Plain Jane!"

I mean it's not steak and lobster but you can read 50 pgs free here and a 50% off coupon RH88E :-)