Sunday, July 24, 2011

Glued Back Together - Poignancy Alert!


I have had a lot of loss this year.  Three beloved pets.  But they were elderly and I was #somewhat prepared, being a veterinarian and all, for when their end came.

Then a puppy burst into my life, Jaspy J (his rapper name FYI) and brought such joy.  You see he was a cat-dog.  He climbed cat trees.  He peed in litter boxes and his best friend (besides me of course) was a cat.

Sure he had his issues... like having to be within line of sight of me at ALL times, but we truly were best buddies.

But his best quality was that he always worked things out.  I didn't want him on my lap.  No worries!  he would spend fifteen minutes flattening himself into a pancake and sneaking under my laptop until he was wedged between it and me.  Mission accomplished!

Then he got sick.  It was stupid really.  He must have eaten something he shouldn't have.  Puppies do that all the time.  I treat puppies who do that all the time.  No biggie.

But then he started bleeding into his bowel.  Okay, maybe not so common but I have treated a million of those and had 999,999 get better.

Yet even after several transfusions he still bled.  It was time to take him to surgery.

And we could NOT find the bleeder.  I sank to the floor, knowing if surgery did not work, the chances that Jaspy J would pull through were dim.

But he worked things out.  He was young.  We prayed for a miracle.

And it seemed we got it.  For a full week he recovered.  I was even ready to take your his sutures when he suddednly crashed again.

This time, this time no amount of praying could pull him through.

When I finally had to put him down, I felt my heart shatter.  I mean I FELT it.

At first it was a loud crack and it broke along the major fault lines, but then as those shattered pieces fell the floor I heard the tinkering of a thousands shards scattering across the floor.

I thought this is it.  After everything I have been through after all the wounds and all the healing I will end up like Jasper.  Doomed to succumb.

I wasn't going to get another dog.  Possibly EVER.  I felt jinxed and damaged.

I laid awake the next night blaming myself for his death.  I combed over every minute of every day trying to figure out what I had done wrong.  How could I save so many lives and not my own dog's?

Then the night after I lost him, I fell asleep more out of exhaustion than to find peace.

That is when the dream came.  Jasper told me that he did NOT forgive me, simply because there was nothing to forgive.

And by the way, he was finally getting to do his rap since he had a concert and was opening for Tupac.  Who knew God was so into rap? LOL

But most importantly Jasper did not want me to be alone so he told me that his cousin was at the pound and in danger of being put down.

I was to look for a female, with his same divet on his nose and white blaze up his forehead.

I woke up feeling hopeful.  I still really did not want another dog necessarily, but I felt like I had to at least see if this dream was true.

So I went onto the pound's website and sure enough there was 1 dog that was a girl, with a divet and a blaze.  Now if I were to get another dog, I really wanted a male, but who can go against God?

I rushed to the pound but someone else was looking at her.  I shrugged and said I would wait.  After all Jasper had sent me, I knew that I was going home with her and not someone else.

Sure enough, those other people did not want her.

I was really calm when I walked out to the play yard.  "She" was just as cute as promised and loved to jump and kiss your face.

Then we realized "she" was a HE!  He had been mis-catagorized as a female!

Tears rolled down my cheek.  Here was proof positive that Jasper truly was in heaven and wanted me to be happy.

As always he found a way to make it work.  It may not have been perfect or even pretty, but it worked.

Now my heart was not broken... it was glued back together.  I am not sure if it will ever beat quite the same, but due to Jasper it is beating once again :-)

Monday, July 18, 2011

I am a horrible flirt...

No, seriously.

Not like I flirt like crazy, I mean I am horrible at the actual flirting.

So when I heard that this Menage a Blog was all about seducing the reader I knew that I was in trouble.  I mean, did the Blog Tour de Force people not read the title of my blog?  Dating after 40, okay hoping to Date after 40.

My seduction skills are... let us say rusty #rustedthrough

I mean the closest I come to seduction any more is to convince the guy at our local BBQ joint to give me an extra side of sauce for free.  And then half the time he still charges me the 50¢!!!

So you can see why I was a little bit nervous about competing today with Amber Scott and Deena Remiel.

Come on, Amber Scott is not only a huge Kindle bestseller but writes "highly addictive paranormal romance."  Her title is Fierce Dawn and has a total hotty angel on the cover (which begs the question is he naughty or nice?).  I mean just looking at the cover makes me want to jump into bed with her #book.

Then I am also up against Deena Remiel with Brethren Beginnings.  Um... the cover's got a fabulous picture of a guy with phenomenal abs.  She clearly knows my weakness for a nice six-pack!

And the steamy hotness doesn't stop at their covers.  Nope, once you start reading, the pages sizzle as you turn them!

Then there is me with my little ole gentle, brand-spanking new YA fantasy 7 Folds of Winter.  It is more a book you cozy up to with a nice warm cup of cocoa.  The world of 7 Folds is woven in shades of white, blue with splashes of rebellion red.  The characters are rich in variety and even though many of them are not even human, they all have such flawed humanity about them.

It is an old school fantasy that relies on powerful storytelling and intricate world building rather than tricks or gimmicks.

So my only hope in this competition today is that after you are done with the hot and steamy roller coaster ride that is Fierce Dawn and Brethren Beginnings, you will want to take a little break, breathe out a deep sigh and curl up with warm fantasy. #otherwise #Iamscrewed :-)

I was contemplating trying to buy you all off with some lasagna (which totally would have worked for me), but then realized... um... I want all the lasagna for myself! #duh #plusalittlemessyinthemail.

So if you take pity on my and my fledgling fantasy, you can vote for me and receive a free eBook of 7 Folds of Winter, by simply leave a comment below (you do need to give Disqus your email address so that I have somewhere to send your eBook).

Let's show them that sweetness and innocence still count! #theydontseemtoinreallife #soletsmakeithappenhere!!!

Don't forget to hit up Tuesday's line up of Lacey Weatherford's The Trouble with Spells (which is deliciously delightful), Terri Giulaino Long's In Leah's Wake (a heartrending story of family), and Rachel Thompson's Dollars & Sense: The Definitive Guide to Self-Publishing Success (which doesn't sound all that hot unless of course you want to make money off your own book, then this book is smokin' sexy!).

If you are reading this after Monday July 18th, no worries!  You can still obtain a free copy of 7 Folds of Winter! Just leave a comment below and I will be notified! #latecomerswelcome :-)

Also to stay on top of all the give-aways, check in with the Indie Book Collective for each tour day's official schedule :-)

And again, THANKS so much for participating in such an amazing tour and making it so very special for all of us! #awesomeness

Sunday, July 10, 2011

I should bathe more frequently...

And not for the obvious hygeine issues (although, some days working from home... LOL).

No, what I find is that laying there in the water, my hair swirling around my face, I think more clearly.

The worries and frustrations seep away and I am left with clarity.

Suddenly problems that have vexed me, are resolved.  Ideas that have been percolating in the back of my mind, come surging to the forefront, ready for action.

I wish I could say that I am great at meditating.  That before bed or in the middle of the day I can sit back, relax and find this focus.

No, there is something magical between the water and myself.  Something happens that insulates me from the chaotic, hectic life I normally lead.  Let me be clear.  I do not light candles, turn off the lights and create a sacred space.

Nope, I am usually in a hurry, late for work, rushing to get ready.

Yet each time, no matter how my body wants to race forward, there is a magical moment when my mind balks and whispers quietly... stay... rest a while.

So from now on, I think I am going to make sure to savor the baths I take every day (okay, every other day... fine you caught me, every three days #hopefully) :-)