Saturday, February 13, 2010

When did Objectphilia become a disorder? Ummm, like the day after the iPhone came out!

First off. I love my iPhone.

No, I know you THINK you love your iPhone, but did you make your own commercial (or 5, see the evidence in the award-winning video above) about them? Did you name him (Thor)? Did you have a torrid voicemail message extolling your new love? Did you make the tech bring your old, dead, iPhone back to you to say goodbye to him and reassure him you had everything that made Thor, Thor, back home in your computer?

No, I didn’t think so.

But I did, and so much more. Like I tried on a nice, tight, fuzzy sweater and my first thought about the lovely curve of my breasts was, “Wow, this’ll be perfect to clean Thor’s screen!”

Okay, maybe I shouldn’t be writing this stuff down since I’m pretty sure it could be used against me in the inevitable court hearing.

And we haven’t even talked about Tivo yet. Not only did he ask me about my likes and dislikes, he REMEMBERS them! He suggests other things I might like. He is dependable and caring, I know, just know, he purrs when I press on those ever so convenient buttons. Of course there is a slight language barrier since he only beeps at me when

I do something right and bonks at me when I’ve done something he finds stupid, but hey, every couple has their issues, right?

Now the iPad. Dear gawd, are you trying to get me committed? A bigger, wider, stronger iPhone (nothing to slight Thor, he will always be in my pocket no matter what else comes along)? A tablet I can write on? 3G access on a laptop?

Yes, my world is about to be rocked. And I’m going to enjoy it until the day I’m put on Lithium!

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