Sunday, August 8, 2010
I must be sending out that 'desperate' vibe...
Alright, let me set the stage for you (um, right off the bat you should realize I have a bizarre life if the vast majority of talking about it requires stage setting! :-)
Anyway, I am out boogie boarding. (If you are new to this blog, yes I am forty-five and go out with the 13 year olds and boogie board and do ninja moves. For more on that click here).
So anyway I am out pretty deep. The surf is pretty quiet so I mainly floating around, riding some swells, getting ready for my debut as a martial arts actor. You know, just the usual.
Now there are some southern swells that can come from the side and well, knock you over then roll you around for a minute if you aren't watching closely (clearly I figured this out by NOT watching closely but that's another blog).
So I'm floating/playing when I see a HUGE southern swell coming my way. Quickly I start to get up onto my board and turn towards the wave when something under the water WHACKS my legs out from under me.
I tip over backward, bringing my board with me and get churned by the wave.
Now, whatever hit me was smooth so I know it isn't a shark, but still what the HELL???
I right myself as quickly as I can and look further down the swell and there is something really BIG and dark a few feet away.
It's seaweed. It's gotta be seaweed I tell myself.
But then the thing rolls over and eyes me.
It's a SEAL!
He looks at me with a kind of 'hey there. Whatch you doin' kind of face.
Then he turns more fully and realizes "Wait! You're a human!"
And I SWEAR to you on my mother's grave that he panics, makes a 90 degree turn and jets off back into the ocean.
Again, what the hell????????
I make my own 90 degree turn towards the shore and swim like my life depended upon it.
I mean, if I can fool an amorous seal (with my Rubenesque figure and all) into thinking I am a seal, I bet a shark could figure that as well!
Making back to shore safely, everyone is asking me if I was okay and whether or not that was a shark (we've had lots of sightings in the past month but none close to the surf).
No, I explain, it was a seal.
Oh... But what was it doing with you?
Um... Ya... I have a series of blogs that you need to read to set the stage. LOL
Thanks for reading!
During the close of summer I am going to take a little blog break, but don't fear there will still be stuff for you to read.
I have put together three blogs of my most weird, awkward, or downright strange first dates ever.
I hope you enjoy and in September I will be back with 'live' blogging!
Until then you can also read my novel (under my pen name @CristynWest) Plain Jane!
There are no seals, but lots of murder so make sure you are in the mood for a Patterson Style thriller.
You can read 50 pages for FREE here...
And if turns out to be truly thrilling and you wish to purchase the entire book, use this 50% off coupon code: RH88E at check out!
Thanks so much for stopping by and see you next week! #ish :-)