Sunday, November 14, 2010

Is It Too Much To Ask...?


This is a question I find myself asking on more than one occasion while looking through dating ads.

Is it too much to ask that the guy's picture not include a private piece of anatomy?  Um... I guess so.

Is it too much to ask that the guy not have a prison record (with tats to prove it)? Um... yeppers.

Is it too much to ask that the guy not still live with his ex-wife?  You guessed it.

Now when I complain about the quality of single guys left in the world, there is a certain segment of people who feel I am being 'too picky' or 'too harsh.'

So okay, let's take a look at that.

My bottom line is he needs to be:
Between the ages of 40-55 (in calendar years, not how 'young' you feel - the age on your CDL)
Single (not separated, not 'about to file for divorce' #dudenotevenclose, not 'wanting something more')
Local to the Ventura area (no 'distance doesn't matter to the heart.' Maybe not but it does to my work schedule #jeez)
Gainfully employed (which does not include standing outside a home improvement center)
Non-felon (I know, I know. I just eliminated 99% of CraigsList ads)
Love dogs (not "I pet a dog once" because let's face it, I have a Chihuahua in my bra as I type this)
Does not mention sex in their ad. (yes, I like sex too I just don't feel compelled to tell you my fav position on the internet)

Ok, so for all those that feel I am just too picky, I put this challenge out to you.  Find me a man that meets those 7 simple criteria and I will contact them... happily.

However, if you can't find one, you come back to this blog and leave a comment with your never-ending apology and sympathy for my plight!

Game on!

4 comments:

  1. Still not live with his ex-wife!? LOL! Your plight is much - with this comment we send virtual cookies, for you and the chihuahua in your bra.

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  2. I wouldn't say your picky, I dated a woman once that didn't like men that drove pick up trucks, wore a beard, liked Country music or smoked cigarettes. Unfortunately I met all those dislikes. When she turned me down for another date I told her she was too picky and wished her luck. As to yours, I pass 4 out of 7 on your requirements. Sorry.

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  3. I'm sure there must be some really fine fellows outside of home improvement centers: the ones who are buying a new toilet for their mothers.

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  4. I'm sure there must be some really fine fellows outside of home improvement centers: the ones who are buying a new toilet for their mothers.

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