Sunday, November 14, 2010
Is It Too Much To Ask...?
This is a question I find myself asking on more than one occasion while looking through dating ads.
Is it too much to ask that the guy's picture not include a private piece of anatomy? Um... I guess so.
Is it too much to ask that the guy not have a prison record (with tats to prove it)? Um... yeppers.
Is it too much to ask that the guy not still live with his ex-wife? You guessed it.
Now when I complain about the quality of single guys left in the world, there is a certain segment of people who feel I am being 'too picky' or 'too harsh.'
So okay, let's take a look at that.
My bottom line is he needs to be:
Between the ages of 40-55 (in calendar years, not how 'young' you feel - the age on your CDL)
Single (not separated, not 'about to file for divorce' #dudenotevenclose, not 'wanting something more')
Local to the Ventura area (no 'distance doesn't matter to the heart.' Maybe not but it does to my work schedule #jeez)
Gainfully employed (which does not include standing outside a home improvement center)
Non-felon (I know, I know. I just eliminated 99% of CraigsList ads)
Love dogs (not "I pet a dog once" because let's face it, I have a Chihuahua in my bra as I type this)
Does not mention sex in their ad. (yes, I like sex too I just don't feel compelled to tell you my fav position on the internet)
Ok, so for all those that feel I am just too picky, I put this challenge out to you. Find me a man that meets those 7 simple criteria and I will contact them... happily.
However, if you can't find one, you come back to this blog and leave a comment with your never-ending apology and sympathy for my plight!