I've been running (and not the good, exercise, lower your cholesterol kind) for a long time.
Two decades really.
I'll spare you the gory details of what set me aflight, but I think even if I did describe it all, 20 years of running is a tad excessive.
Only when you are running from something like that, you don't want to look back, actually it feels like you can't, so how would you know when you've achieved a safe distance so you can slow down?
It makes you afraid to stop anywhere, with anyone, for very long, let alone put down roots (things that could entangle you, trap you, make it impossible to make a quick escape).
Yet the other day I was cleaning sand off my dresser (yes, one of the many 'fun' things about living at the beach) I just thought, out of the blue, "Maybe I can stop running."
I burst into tears and I could feel the negative voices inside freak-the-f-out, but I also knew it was true.
I'm not sure if it was just the right time, the beach, or Twitter, but something fundamentally inside has shifted.
And yes, I did list Twitter in there. I think because it wasn't face to face, my usual 'anti-social' wall wasn't up quite so high and a number of people have snuck into my heart.
My new job as well (save, of course, my Nemesis, but even she is deliciously fun) has been a delight. None of the usual push-pull of my previous work relationships.
What will it feel like to be still? To be connected to something greater than myself?
I'm still not certain, but it already feels a hell of a lot better than burning rubber 24/7.
#andIpromiseareturn #tomassivehashtagoveruse #nextblog
And don't forget my novel Plain Jane is out!
Now be forewarned, there is no pink and definitely no Ding Dongs.
My rebellious pen name @cristynwest went a wrote a book about mystery and mayhem. #weird
If you like Patterson or Silence of the Lambs, you can find Plain Jane at Smashwords (http://bit.ly/b60jVe).
Watch the book trailer, listen to the audio excerpt, and even read over 50 pages of Plain Janefor free. I mean come on... #itcantgetbetterthanthat
Ok, actually it can! Here's a 50% off coupon (use at checkout): RH88E
Posts
I can only imagine how good -- and scary -- it must feel. But how wonderful for you at the same time!
ReplyDeleteKeep on keepin' on, Sistah.
#goodbreakthrough however, maybe you were just on a #redlicoricelow?
ReplyDeleteshall I send you some??
xoxoRachelintheOC
I can relate to your 'constant running need'. I went through that for four whole years, and I finally stopped. Life has been fabulous ever since. Be brave.
ReplyDeleteGood for you... hang in there. You will be fine/stay strong.
ReplyDeleteI was on the run for 15 years. I realized I was running from myself. I couldn't out run mylelf. I stopped running to let me catch up: life is good!
ReplyDeleteWe all run in one way or another. You were a marathon runner and will be stronger for it in the long run. Be well.
Well this sounds like a mini revelation? If it is bringing joy into your life then I am smiling :-) Even Forrest Gump decided to stop running and go home..so you are in good company.
ReplyDeleteBe well,
Janet
I just started following you and by that, I mean yesterday! So happy that I can hear you
ReplyDeletebid "Adieu" to the past and give a big "Hello
Sailor" to the present!
Brunch101
I just started following you and by that, I mean yesterday! So happy that I can hear you
ReplyDeletebid "Adieu" to the past and give a big "Hello
Sailor" to the present!
Brunch101
Good for you... hang in there. You will be fine/stay strong.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how good -- and scary -- it must feel. But how wonderful for you at the same time!
ReplyDeleteKeep on keepin' on, Sistah.