I Love Meeting New People! #Iamtotallylying

I definitely, without a doubt, do NOT love meeting new people. They are strangers and you know what Momma said about strangers.

They look at you. And want to talk to you. And then, the horror of horrors, they expect you to talk back.

And at a conference people actually walk across a room to talk with you.

I have found there really is no where to hide (trust me I tried.)

Luckily #BloggyBootCamp was different than any other convention I have ever been to. The people here didn't seem to care that I was awkward.

They kind of dug it.

I only had to wander away once, eyes averted, from a conversation that belly-flopped! And only once during dinner did I feel like I wanted to just slide from my seat under the table (not feasible here since no table cloths. Which BTW #whatsupwiththat).

I mean, how awesome is that? #Iamcountingitasatotalscore

Then the actual day of the conference...

Ok, whose bright idea was it anyway for my best friend and I to 'divide and conquer?' To split up and go to two different sessions?

Had either of us met me?

Somehow I made it through the day, smiling, nodding my head, you know that stuff I see other people doing to one another.

Then 3pm hits. And I am DONE.

I mean, I have to suppress my flight response.

I suddenly know where all the exits are. I suddenly have a map in my head of the shortest route back to my room. I began seriously weighing how weird it would look if I got up, raised my hands above my head and ran screaming from the room. #becausereally #ifyouaregoingtomakeanexit #makeitbig

And, of course, the more interesting panel is at 4pm!

So, I know this is going to be hard to believe, but I sucked it up! I stayed.

#shockingIknow

I somehow muddled through dinner and the briefest appearance at a cocktail party in the history of mankind (in my defense I tasted the guacamole and found it lacking enough...avocado, so really does anyone blame me for leaving?).

The best part was the party was inside a gated pool area and I could not for the life of me figure out the latched gate.

So I stood there. What do I do? I can't go back to the party and say what...

"I'm Anti-Social, I'm fleeing you and this party but I'm too dumb to get out?"

I mean, I am Anti-Social but even I'm not going to say that out-loud!

#havestandards #veryveryveryverylowstandardsbutstandardsnonetheless


And don't forget my novel Plain Jane is out!

Now be forewarned, there is no pink and definitely no Ding Dongs.

My rebellious pen name @cristynwest went a wrote a book about mystery and mayhem. #weird

If you like Patterson or Silence of the Lambs, you can find Plain Jane at Smashwords (http://bit.ly/b60jVe).

Watch the book trailer, listen to the audio excerpt, and even read over 50 pages of Plain Janefor free. I mean come on... #itcantgetbetterthanthat

Ok, actually it can! Here's a 50% off coupon (use at checkout): RH88E