I know flying changed radically after the terrorist attacks, but for me it has changed the most since the show Lost. #andofcourseIamaCandidate
I mean, come on, I was sitting there as the flight attendant started her safety speech.
Um, hello? I've seen Lost. I know all about that oxygen line that drops down. #duh
Keep your safety belts on. You never know when a mystical entity is going to jerk your plane from the sky. #doubleduh
And those seat cushions that conveniently float? Oh, I am all over that.
But ask me to sit in the tail section of the plane? Forget it!
I mean, I want a CHANCE at survival if the plane crashes. And we all know what happened to the bulk of the 'tailies.'
So don't even try to get me to sit back there. You can't make me.
Oh, well, I guess with the new Federal Laws, they can, but you know what I mean!
And yes, I do frequently make big life choices based on speculative fiction television series #whodoesnt.
As an example, on the flight to Phoenix last week, we had some of the worst turbulence I have ever experienced.
I mean drop from the sky a few hundred feet, seats rattling uncontrollably kind of turbulence.
But all I kept thinking was, if we go down and get stranded somewhere...
There aren't nearly enough hot guys on this plane to form an adequate love triangle.
And don't forget my novel Plain Jane is out!
Now be forewarned, there is no pink and definitely no Ding Dongs.
My rebellious pen name @cristynwest went a wrote a book about mystery and mayhem. #weird
If you like Patterson or Silence of the Lambs, you can find Plain Jane at Smashwords (http://bit.ly/b60jVe).
Watch the book trailer, listen to the audio excerpt, and even read over 50 pages of Plain Janefor free. I mean come on... #itcantgetbetterthanthat
Ok, actually it can! Here's a 50% off coupon (use at checkout): RH88E
Posts
Thanks for the Monday a.m. laugh -- particularly as my Traveling Husband is navigating an ash cloud in Europe this week...Will find you on Twitter!
ReplyDeleteAlyson
www.commonsense-dancing.com
That was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. And being a bonafide LOST fan myself, I have these same thoughts when flying.
ReplyDeleteVERY cute and funny!! I haven't watched one episode of Lost yet, but I've heard lots of good things. I suppose I should Netflix the past seasons asap!
ReplyDeleteI think the best strategy for flying is to check out the quality of passengers on the plane, and grade them on a scale from 1 to 10. (10 being a great candidate to live on a deserted island with). If there's a low count of good-looking men and former boy-scouts than the flight is just not worth taking:)
Hah! This is proof girls are more superficial than guys!
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm scoping out potential people who may survive the crash landing on to our deserted island, I'm lookin' at their resumes not their curves. I want doctors, electro physicists, zoologists/Bear Grylls-type skills (think of how many times you'll avoid running into a hive of angry rhinos with one!), carpenters, farmers/arborists/horticulturalists, maybe some musicians, and a few textile manufacturing experts.
"That hot chick there is just going to get sucked into a jet engine, but that burly lady could totally pull me on to the life raft then paddle us to land with her bare hands."
If I'm on a plane full of cute Indie girls, college students going on their vision quests, retirees, and suits... I'll probably end up making a civilization with a volley ball.
Hah! This is proof girls are more superficial than guys!
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm scoping out potential people who may survive the crash landing on to our deserted island, I'm lookin' at their resumes not their curves. I want doctors, electro physicists, zoologists/Bear Grylls-type skills (think of how many times you'll avoid running into a hive of angry rhinos with one!), carpenters, farmers/arborists/horticulturalists, maybe some musicians, and a few textile manufacturing experts.
"That hot chick there is just going to get sucked into a jet engine, but that burly lady could totally pull me on to the life raft then paddle us to land with her bare hands."
If I'm on a plane full of cute Indie girls, college students going on their vision quests, retirees, and suits... I'll probably end up making a civilization with a volley ball.