Sunday, April 18, 2010

It's only April and I'm already throwing in the towel on 2010!


For dating I mean. The rest of my life is awesome. Dating though? #notsomuch

Before, when I had, like hope, I would wait until New Year's Eve before I gave up on that particular year.

I would actually go to parties, just hoping beyond hope I would meet 'him' there.

Ok, then I got older (and you know, more tired) and started watching the ball drop on the back East feed so that I was in bed by 9:01pm.

But I would still hold out hope for most of the year until my birthday (around Thanksgiving). Again, I would go to parties, searching the crowd, with anticipation, but as you have probably guessed, nada.

Then I backed the "Date Where I Must Give Up All Hope For the Year" until to Halloween. Surly by the end of freaking October I'd find my guy. (plus by then I was watching the New Year's Eve Festivities in London so I can climb in bed any ole time I liked)

Over the past few years, my designated 'The Day Hope Dies" got slowly moved back to the 4th of July.

I mean, come on, 1/2 the year without a date and you might as well focus your energies somewhere else for the second 1/2!

But this year, that sudden realization, "That The Door Has Inevitably Inexorability, Forever Closed On This Year" came on Easter (notice how I skipped right past Memorial Day, hopelessness has that kind of snowballing effect).

I'm not sure it was the holiday itself (perhaps the candy had some minor part in it) but rather it was eHarmony's fault.

You see I was trying to actually get a date before July 4th so I decided to give internet dating another stab (and yes, I am aware of the imagery there!).

It had been a few years since I had participated in this unusual form of torture (put up pic and bio, get either booty calls or ignored all together) so I filled out all my 'new' (read 4 years older, and not a lot wiser) info and answered the 17 Gazillion questions on eHarmony and got back this lovely message...

"There is a <0.005% you will find someone on eHarmony. We wish you luck elsewhere."

Then it DUMPED me out of the website!!!!!!

Because you see, I'm not just old (45 is the new 90 when it comes to dating), or live in a small town, but chubby too.

I have now been told OFFICIALLY from eHarmony to GIVE UP hope!!!!!! They wouldn't even take my money and let me pretend to be hopeful.

Strangely that message made me less angst-ful.

Because quite frankly I am tired of feeling crazy.

Fielding all those 'just try Match.com, get out more, just think positive, you're just imagining the lack of single guys in your age/education/income level," type comments from friends

Now? Uhhh, ya, let me show ya something!

I just shoot off that ending message from eHarmony!

See? I'm not crazy!

Even a huge internet-based dating website thinks.... I AM DOOMED!

And because this is how I am, somehow I think I've won.

#showedthem #notsurethatIhaveinfactwon #butstilltakingcreditanyway

16 comments:

  1. Ahhh bless you! It is eHarmony's loss :o)

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  2. That is ridiculous! Surely you checked the box that said bunny killer or something similar by accident? That's just awful. Something's wrong with the site, NOT you! Hang in there! (I have four single 40+ brother-in-laws, btw) ;)

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  3. Found ya from twitter some how?!?!? LOL

    You can have my husband... NOT that you'd want him =)

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  4. I've never tried E-Harmony. I have tried several other sites. Never got any response from anyone other than freaks. It was great! LOL ;-)

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  5. I am rolling at the photo!!! So funny!

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  6. ROFL! They rejected me, too! They said I was too nice and that people would think I was too good to be true. Now if that's not a 'huh?' moment, I don't know what is! ;D

    TJ

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  7. I don't know quite what to say about this. Can they DO that? Seriously, the more I hear about eharmony the worse they sound. Ugh.

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  8. Don't get me started on eHarmony! I was on that hell ride for six months and the only guy who ever contacted me was later banned from the system and I was sent a letter advising me never to respond to his emails. I'm an old maid and happy that way. If Mr. Right walks up to my door, he better have his own pizza with him :)

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  9. I'm not sure if I feel better or worse for knowing there are others going through this, but I did get a great laugh. Thank you!

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  10. My sweetie got rejected from eHarmony, too. I'm actually glad because otherwise I would have never met the love of my life. So, obviously eHarmony doesn't have the formula right because AWESOME people are getting denied.

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  11. Loved the photo. There's always hope, but don't hold your breath or it won't happen (after all you'll be dead). But truthfully, you sound like a pretty cool person so if you continue being that way, then you are more likely to find someone if you're happy than moping.

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  12. Don't worry about E Harmony. Those people are soul-less anyway. I found my honey on Match.com but only after kissing lots of frogs. Be patient and be your own best friend. Took me 15 years and I'm chubby too. There are a ton of superficial guys out there. Make sure you're not being superficial when you are looking.

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  13. It sounds to me like eHarmony is looking for a certain "type" to join. If too many people who don't fit that "type" join and don't succeed then their success percentage will be hurt by it. You are a cool person, it't them who are profit-hungry and most definitely not cool.

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  14. Don't worry about E Harmony. Those people are soul-less anyway. I found my honey on Match.com but only after kissing lots of frogs. Be patient and be your own best friend. Took me 15 years and I'm chubby too. There are a ton of superficial guys out there. Make sure you're not being superficial when you are looking.

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  15. That is ridiculous! Surely you checked the box that said bunny killer or something similar by accident? That's just awful. Something's wrong with the site, NOT you! Hang in there! (I have four single 40+ brother-in-laws, btw) ;)

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  16. ROFL! They rejected me, too! They said I was too nice and that people would think I was too good to be true. Now if that's not a 'huh?' moment, I don't know what is! ;D

    TJ

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