It's only April and I'm already throwing in the towel on 2010!

For dating I mean. The rest of my life is awesome. Dating though? #notsomuch

Before, when I had, like hope, I would wait until New Year's Eve before I gave up on that particular year.

I would actually go to parties, just hoping beyond hope I would meet 'him' there.

Ok, then I got older (and you know, more tired) and started watching the ball drop on the back East feed so that I was in bed by 9:01pm.

But I would still hold out hope for most of the year until my birthday (around Thanksgiving). Again, I would go to parties, searching the crowd, with anticipation, but as you have probably guessed, nada.

Then I backed the "Date Where I Must Give Up All Hope For the Year" until to Halloween. Surly by the end of freaking October I'd find my guy. (plus by then I was watching the New Year's Eve Festivities in London so I can climb in bed any ole time I liked)

Over the past few years, my designated 'The Day Hope Dies" got slowly moved back to the 4th of July.

I mean, come on, 1/2 the year without a date and you might as well focus your energies somewhere else for the second 1/2!

But this year, that sudden realization, "That The Door Has Inevitably Inexorability, Forever Closed On This Year" came on Easter (notice how I skipped right past Memorial Day, hopelessness has that kind of snowballing effect).

I'm not sure it was the holiday itself (perhaps the candy had some minor part in it) but rather it was eHarmony's fault.

You see I was trying to actually get a date before July 4th so I decided to give internet dating another stab (and yes, I am aware of the imagery there!).

It had been a few years since I had participated in this unusual form of torture (put up pic and bio, get either booty calls or ignored all together) so I filled out all my 'new' (read 4 years older, and not a lot wiser) info and answered the 17 Gazillion questions on eHarmony and got back this lovely message...

"There is a <0.005% you will find someone on eHarmony. We wish you luck elsewhere."

Then it DUMPED me out of the website!!!!!!

Because you see, I'm not just old (45 is the new 90 when it comes to dating), or live in a small town, but chubby too.

I have now been told OFFICIALLY from eHarmony to GIVE UP hope!!!!!! They wouldn't even take my money and let me pretend to be hopeful.

Strangely that message made me less angst-ful.

Because quite frankly I am tired of feeling crazy.

Fielding all those 'just try Match.com, get out more, just think positive, you're just imagining the lack of single guys in your age/education/income level," type comments from friends

Now? Uhhh, ya, let me show ya something!

I just shoot off that ending message from eHarmony!

See? I'm not crazy!

Even a huge internet-based dating website thinks.... I AM DOOMED!

And because this is how I am, somehow I think I've won.

#showedthem #notsurethatIhaveinfactwon #butstilltakingcreditanyway