"Seal Pup Emergency!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ok, I did not ever expect to hear those words. Ever.

Yesterday, I Tweeted (a lot) about my adventure with the seal pup, but got even more requests for the whole story, so here goes...

I was talking to a friend on the phone (about Twitter #ofcourse #nosurprisethere) when my Roomie bursts into my bedroom yelling "We've got a Seal Pup Emergency!!!!!!!!"

Now, I grew up along the Northern California Coast so I'm used to Harbor Seal pups playing in the surf (Moms watching from further out) and occasionally the pup can get carried onto the beach. They usually go right back out.

"No! He's stranded!" she cries.

That gets me out of bed (not much else will as you know). I look out my bedroom window to find an ELEPHANT seal pup on the beach, clearly struggling.

I repeat the call to action into the telephone, "Seal Pup Emergency. Gotta go," as I hang up on my friend.

Okay, what do we do? First I need to get dressed, second we might want to brush our teeth, third --

The crows start swooping down on our little pup.

"RUN!" I yell and God bless my Roomie she ran! I mean, BOLTED out of the room.

But now a dog is coming up the beach and making a beeline straight toward the pup. My Roomie is awesome, but she can't handle crows and dogs.

So I grab a pair of pants off the dresser (see being lazy and not putting away your clothes has a definite advantage), pulled those on, tucked my nightgown into them (please, like you've never done that before), threw on a jacket (now Chief is confused since he normally lives inside of it) and ran (yes, ran) down to the beach.

By now, Roomie is throwing sticks at the crows and seagulls (with absolutely no intention or in the case of the seagulls hitting one) while doing her best to keep her body between the dog and the seal pup.

One good yell from me sends the dog and birds packing (nice to be alpha).

Panting (remember I actually ran), I circle around the little guy (well about 200 pounds of little seal puppy-ness). Has he been attacked by a shark?

This suggestion temporarily paralyzes my Roomie, then she scrambles to the upper dune (gotta give her credit though, she kept her stick pointed at the birds).

But no blood. No wounds.

He is slowly dragging himself to higher ground.

Roomie gets on her phone and calls anyone we can think of... Harbor Patrol. Fish and Game. The non-emergency 911 line (who now know us by name after all the people having bon fires and sex on the beach).

They all promise to call the appropriate wildlife rescue, although no one seems to know quite who that is.

We take a breath. The pup seems exhausted and weak, but alive. We can reassess. Determine the next vital step in helping this creature.

Lets bring down from the house a bucket for water. Towels in case he needs to be covered. Cat food to feed him.

Roomie: "And your phone."
Me: "Why? Is yours dying?"
Roomie "No, you need yours to Tweet."

Damn, she's right (and God love her for enabling me)! We look to one another. Could Tweeting this, right now as it is happening, really be that important?

"Go." I say. Roomie is off in a flash back to the house. I yell over the wind, "Better yet, bring my laptop!"

Within minutes she is back down with all of our supplies.

Luckily before we pour water over him or cover him or feed him, I start surfing... the web (gotta love my house is close enough to beach I still get wifi).

Turns out you DON'T want to wet them, cover them or feed them. Who knew?

Well, clearly the volunteer from the wildlife rehab place. She kind of snuck up on us (turns out she's a neighbor down the beach).

Roomie cleverly steps in front of the water bucket, towels, and cat food (you know all the damning evidence that as veterinary professionals were going to do the really stupid stuff to the poor seal baby).

As I discuss the pup with the volunteer, Roomie quietly slips cat food cans into her jacket, folds the towel over her arm and ever so casually dumps the water out #closecall

Turns out our pup is just tired. Elephant seal pups are on their own very early in life and sometimes they stray away from their island and get pulled into shore. They need to warm up and rest up before they can head back to sea at dusk.

Whew! What a relief.

Now we just have to keep away the birds, dogs, and (other) stupid people trying to wet him down.

"Um, not WE, I can't stay here all day," the volunteer announces as she posts signs around the seal pup telling people to leave him alone.

But, ah, dogs and crows and seagulls don't read.

"Sorry, it's the best we can do."

Ha! Clearly she has not met my Roomie and I. This seal pup will have our full protection! Come hell or high water (literally, the tide was coming in) this seal pup is going to be safe!

So my Roomie and I take shifts staying down on the beach with him, at the ready.

The whole while the pup just snoozed under the bright sun, with the occasional hyper-cute flipping sand onto his back or wiping his eyes with his flipper - and no we didn't get video footage! How we wish we had!

Finally mid-afternoon (when the beach is the quietest) we decide we can watch him from our rooms and get SOMETHING done today.

Of course, not a minute after we make that decision and both go back into the house, where I pull off my jacket and pants (to reveal my granny nightie) does a woman and her two kids walk straight towards the pup! She blows past the signs and is clearly going to try and pet him!

Ok, we were going to wet him, but pet a wild animal, not even we were that dumb!

I yell, but she can't hear me over the wind. What to do? Even at Roomie's fastest she'll never make it down there.

So I do the only logical thing and shove the screen out of its holder (ruining it) and lean as far out the window as I can (Roomie holding onto my nightgown to keep me from falling) and yell the only thing I can think of...

"Federal law!!! You must stay back 50 feet!"
No matter that would have landed her in the surf, but I said it with enough volume and authority my crazy ass words stopped her.

"Please" I regained some level of sanity, although of course I am still in my nightgown, hanging out of a window with the screen askew, "Get back behind the signs!"

Slowly, as if retreating from an insane person, they backed away, then wandered, stunned down the beach.

Once the danger had passed, my roomie starts cracking up, "Federal law! Classic."

So for the rest of the afternoon we vigilantly watch our baby snooze away.

By now most people know about him and have their dogs leashed and the birds know a stink eye from me when they see one (plus the pup brought himself up so far that he was laying right our property line and my dog Orlin always enforces a strict 'no-fly' zone over the yard anyway, so we were covered).

Now that the adrenaline has worn off, we could contemplate the really important lessons this experience has taught us.

Roomie: "Those signs are so boring. Know what they need?"
Me: "What?"
Roomie: "Bedazzling."

So true! I mean these signs are on scrap wood, with black and white, boring warnings. Imagine him surrounded by nicely stained stakes (possibly carved) with a cute image of a seal pup sleeping with 'zzzzzz' coming from his lips and the caption "Shhhh, I'm resting up for my long swim home."

Then bedazzle that sucker? He would be the most happenin' seal pup ever.

Unspoken, we both decide we must volunteer for this marine wildlife organization. Clearly they need us for if for nothing else but are acute fashion sense.

Plus, we need some authority, damn it. If I am going to enforce Federal law at the top of my voice, I want some kind of card or badge.

Roomie and I are already practicing flipping our credentials like they do on NCIS. And with a bedazzler on our hip? Nobody, but nobody, is going to mess with us or our seal pups.

The afternoon wears into evening and as the sun got ready to set, many people began gathering around with cameras.

Me: "Word must have spread."
Roomie: "Ya, about the crazy Federal Law lady! Look how far back from the signs they're staying."

True, too true.

Then our pup is on the move, heading back down towards the surf.

We watch, should we go down to the beach? I mean, nobody's going to bother...

Nope, once our little guy is past his signs they move in for pictures (like if he isn't inside our little grid he is safe to touch).

Clearly, we need crowd control!

"Run!" but Roomie was already out the door.

Luckily by now I was dressed so I am not far behind (I know, running twice in a day! #nearlykilledme #totallyworthit).

Now most of these people don't know who we are... The OFFICIAL SEAL PUP EMERGENCY RESPONSE (and fashion coordinating) TEAM

What to do? Yelling and waving our arms around seemed a little over the top, so I start grabbing the stakes and putting them between the crowd and seal pup. Roomie does the same on the other side.

He moves a foot, we move a sign a foot, making a safe seal pup corridor to the sea.

We are both bitter though! If only we'd had our badges and Bedazzler guns! But you know what, we made due!

Finally the moment happens when he hits the water. Our little chubby, awkward, clumbsy pup became a mermaid.

With grace and skill he dives under the waves and vanishes.

The crowd melted away quickly but Roomie and I lingered. Even now I choke up thinking about watching him in his element and knowing we helped in any small way (okay, fine, a very hysterical/lunatic way) to get him back home.

While neither of us got anything 'worthwhile' done yesterday, we both felt it was one of the most productive days of our lives. :-)

And the added bonus?

Now if any of you hear "Seal Pup EMERGENCY!" You will know what to do!

#plusitwasanexcusetobuy... #blowhorn #anotherbedazzler #cutesealpupcartoons

Yes, indeedy. A fine day #indeed

I think (of Nathan Fillion), therefore…

I am crazy? Delusional? Wasting my time?

Probably.

Chances are.

Yep, I can accept that.

Which is why I have moved onto ‘fantasy’ boyfriends.

Because you see after so many years of not dating, I realized, why be “realistic” anymore?

Why shoot so low as to people I could actually date (with the exception of AJJ, my local stalkee. He is worth every precious moment I spend ‘trying’ to run into him – sometimes quite literally, see previous post).

There is such an upside to non-realistic, fantasy boyfriends.

For one thing, if I’m smitten on my chiropractor, each and every time I go in for a visit, I am reminded that he only likes me for ‘my back.’

Bad for the self-esteem!

But I have a perfectly good reason why Nathan hasn’t asked me out yet. He doesn’t know I exist! So much better!

Now, before you run off thinking I’m a hussy know that just because this is a fantasy relationship doesn’t mean I’m not taking it seriously. #obviouslysuperseriously #Ijustdevotedmyblogtoit

A la Bull Derham I am faithful for the season.

As long as Castle is on, I’m Nathan’s girl.

But what about when the show goes on hiatus, you ask?

Well, is it my fault that Bones was in constant re-runs during the Olympics? What happened between David Boreanaz and I will never be spoken of again.

Again though, Nathan knew nothing of it, so no one got hurt.

See how perfect this works?

So until the thought police (or a mental health professional) catch me, I will think of Nathan Fillion… often.

#justtryandstopme

#MentionMonday: A Primer

Alright, you've heard about this #MentionMonday; the largest groundswell in the history of Twitter... Okay, maybe not that big, but for bloggers, it does seem to be the best thing to drive readers to your blog since sliced bread.

We peaked at over 37 million secondary reach this last week. My personal hits to the blog were over 150. That is about 149 more than I used to get!

Yada, yada, yada, get on with how to do it!

Here's the down and dirty...
Here's an example Tweet...

#MentionMonday How is Writing Like Sex? Find out in myblog @http://bit.ly/a2bzva Pls RT :-)

The key components?
#MentionMonday right off the top. It quickly identifies your Tweet as a blog to be noticed!
A catchy blurb/title/pitch
A direct invite to read your blog (and identify it as a blog to anyone not super familiar with #MentionMonday - I know that seems impossible, but it happens occasionally)
Your blog link - make sure to SHORTEN it! use any one of the many free services to shorten your blog's link. You want as much room left over for all the RTing and even personal recommends.
Then a polite request to RT (again for those who aren't up to speed on how this works).

Fantastic! You post that and then you are done right? Hardly!

To get the Full #MentionMonday Monty? Read on...
Now comes the part that makes this blog promotion work. You need to go and RT other #MentionMonday tweets.

You can be super specific and only RT ones that seem in the same genre as yours, or RT anything, that is up to you, but #MentionMonday will only work if you RT as well.

Plus it is only polite to RT anyone who RTed you.

But how to find them?

Put into the search bar (it is about in the middle of the right hand column) MentionMonday. You will find the stream of all the blogs scrolling by. See if yours is there and who RTed it, then go into their stream and RT back :-)

However, these last #MentionMondays were so large it was nearly impossible to find an RT from even a minute ago! So...

Explore your Retweet section (this is good practice anyway to build your following). It is right above the 'Search' bar and under the Favorites (which is below the Direct Message button for those of you who are directionally challenged :-)

The first tab is "Retweet by others" These are random retweets on your stream. who cares about this one, they usually aren't bloggers!

Hop over to the 3rd tab "Your Tweets, Retweeted" There you will find who RTed any of your #MentionMonday tweets.

Now go back to the 2nd tab and see if you RTed them. If not, find their #MentionMonday and pay back the favor!

Lastly, I have found to make life easier on everyone, I will RT a batch, then be sure to post my own #MentionMonday tweet supporting my blog.

This makes it easier for anyone I just RTed to find mine to RT back. I got this trick from several people who did it on the stream and I realized how much easier it made to RT their blogs promptly :-)

Okay, more lastly than the last one...

Do this whole procedure (RT everyone else, then post your own blog promo) frequently throughout the day. We had hundreds upon hundreds of people participate last week, and expect to grow exponentially as people realize how effect a promotional tool #MentionMonday is for their blog!

Any other questions? Don't hesitate to DM @craftycmc @writingstorm or @zerotosold #wearegiversthatway

What the… (aka what the 25 yr old Carolyn would say to the 45 yr old Carolyn)

I think that 25 yr old Carolyn would be in for a shock if she ever met the 45yr old Carolyn. I mean, back then we were YOUNG, married (miserable but not even realizing we were miserable yet), a veterinary ER jockey, and pretty damn full of ourselves.

She would be… We’re single? For 7 f-ing years (yeah, she cussed A LOT). We are doing regular day-time boring practice? Only 3 days a week? Have you lost your ever-f-ing mind?

She worked so hard to become so good. I can see why she’s kind of pissed. She must feel ike the 45yr old Carolyn is spitting on all her efforts.

But I think after her initial shock, (okay after secondary shock and tertiary shock and a few nights to sleep on it), that 25 yr old Carolyn would see our life is pretty awesome.

You know, except for the whole OLD, and being SINGLE thing (I don't think she will ever accept those). But the beach house, yah, I think she’d like that. The pack of dogs we have, yah, she would groove to that as well.

And the writing? Given the fact she had been forced to walk away from a PhD in Comp Lit and a job at a publishing house, I think she’d break down and cry that the 45yr old Carolyn is now writing. And writing professionally? I think it might make her heart break in two. Or mend the pieces back together.

How I wish I could go back and talk to that 25 yr old version of myself.

Or wait, if we’ve got an f’ing time machine (the 25yr old’s rubbing off on me), I’d go back to the 15 yr old Carolyn.

I’d tell her, everything’s going to be fine.

Yeah, we end up OLD and SINGLE, but happy. Really, really, really happy (all of my blog rants to the contrary).

I’d tell that 15yr old Carolyn (because I think she would actually listen to me compared to the 25yr old) to take better care of our spine and joints, we might need those sucker in 30 years.

I’d tell her to not worry about being a virgin. It's really about love. If you are well loved the sex will come when the sex comes.

I’d tell her to listen to her amazing teachers and supportive mentors and not to her ney-sayers.

I’d tell her that I love her. She can make all the mistakes she wants. We'll figure it out, don't worry so much.

Actually I think that 15 yr old and I have more in common than that poor, workaholic 25 yr old does.

She had everything f’ing going on, on the outside, and was dying on the inside.

So I'm gonna let that 25yr old Carolyn cuss all she wants, because right now, how our lives turned out, I wouldn’t change an f’ing thing!

#MentionMonday Madness - A Primer

Alright, you've heard about this #MentionMonday; the largest groundswell in the history of Twitter... Okay, maybe not that big, but for bloggers, it does seem to be the best thing to drive readers to your blog since sliced bread.

Ya, ya, ya, get on with how to do it!

Here's the down and dirty...
It is simple. Here's an example Tweet...

#MentionMonday How is Writing Like Sex? Find out in myblog @http://bit.ly/a2bzva Pls RT :-)

The key components?
#MentionMonday right off the top. It quickly identifies your Tweet as a blog to be noticed!
A catchy blurb/title/pitch
A direct invite to read your blog (and identify it as a blog to anyone not super familiar with #MentionMonday - I know that seems impossible, but it happens occasionally)
Your blog link - make sure to SHORTEN it! use any one of the many free services to shorten your blog's link. You want as much room left over for all the RTing and even personal recommends.
Then a polite request to RT (again for those who aren't up to speed on how this works).

Fantastic! You post that and then you are done right? Hardly!

To get the Full #MentionMonday Monty? Read on...
Now comes the part that makes this blog promotion work. You need to go and RT other #MentionMonday tweets. You can be super specific and only RT ones that seem in the same genre as yours, or anything, that is up to you, but this will only work if you RT as well.

Plus it is only polite to to RT anyone who RTed you.
But how to find them?

Put into the search bar (it is about in the middle of the right hand column) MentionMonday. You will find the stream of all the blogs scrolling by. See if yours is there and who RTed it, then go into their stream and RT back :-)

However, this last #MentionMonday was so large it was nearly impossible to find an RT from even a minute ago! So...

Explore your Retweet section. It is right above the 'Search' bar and under the Favorites (which is below the Direct Message button for those of you who are directionally challenged :-)

The first tab is "Retweet by others" These are random retweets on your stream. who cares about this one, they usually aren't bloggers!
Hop over to the 3rd tab "Your Tweets, Retweeted" There you will find who RTed any of your #MentionMonday tweets.
Now go back to the 2nd tab and see if you RTed them. If not, find their #MentionMonday and pay back the favor!

Lastly, I have found to make life easier on everyone, I will RT a batch, then be sure to post my own #MentionMonday tweet supporting my blog. This makes it easier for anyone I just RTed to find mine to RT back. I got this trick from several people who did it on the stream and how much easier it made to RT them promptly :-)

Okay, more lastly than the last one... Do this frequently throughout the day (RT, then re-post your own Blog shout out). We had hundreds upon hundreds of people participate last week, and expect to grow exponentially as people realize how effect a promotional tool #MentionMonday is for their blog!

Any other questions? Don't hesitate to DM @craftycmc @writingstorm or @zerotosold #wearegiversthatway

The Best of the Crafty Blog

Here’s my best (other people thought so, so it MUST be true)tweets! So if this ain’t good enough, nothing ever will be #solaughdamnitlaugh

My 2lb Chi is hiding inside jacket. He whines, I pet him. Cute guy passes by, seeing me stroking what appears to be a lumpy boob. #thatishot

Oh, how I wish this were made up. I do this like, twenty times a week. I’ve just gotten used to the double takes, the awkward glances, the downright blatant stares. There is usually cooing and air kisses involved as well. #therereallyisnotdoubtwhyIamsingleanymore


Another word that should not be used in bios? Rainbow, or soar, or soar over rainbows, Unless of course you are a unicorn, then I’m down.

Ok, this one somehow inspired poems. Ummm, I’m making fun of those words people. I was not asking for an ode. Wait, maybe they were making fun of me making fun. Crap, I hate it when people may be wittier than I am! #someDMapologiesmaybeinorder


I want to codify Twitter. Misdemeanors = typing in ALL CAPS, ALL THE TIME Felony = Flash Following (follow, DMmarket, unfollow) #Iamserious

Who thinks their words are so important they have to be in CAPS. Obama doesn’t Tweet in all CAPS. Madonna doesn’t even Tweet in all CAPS, yet you feel the need?
And then the Flash Follows? Come on people, are we really that stupid? When I go to DM you, you are gone. It is like advertising on television then having your phone disconnected #nottoobright. And yet, they keep doing it. Foul, foul people to get my hopes up, only to crush them! #Iwillflashunfollowthem #seehowtheylikeit


I know this is Twitter but can we please know when to use ‘‘well’ instead of “good”? #thatwentovergood

This was kind of adorable. I got like three people (all guys, so love ‘em) who gave me the correct grammatical usage. #Sosweet #Sodidntgetit


Blow to self esteem? Somebody you follow only has 4 followers, yet is following 1999 people and you aren’t 1 of them! #WTH

Dear Lordie me, this happens so frequently. I mean, at some point I have to take it personally that they like a sex/mortgage reducing/penis enlarging bot more than me. #thenhavetotweetaboutit


Need to stop following New Agers. You Buddhas may have @ed me, but do you know what would really make my aura glow? A freakin’ followback!

This one did not get a lot of play. I am blaming it on the Oscars, #WriterWednesay, or the Chilean earthquake, because clearly this is one of the funniest things I have ever written! #ornot


The one benefit of menopause? When getting your wallet out, you don’t have to worry about flinging a tampon into the clerk’s face.

Actually the incident in question I flung the alleged tampon in the guy's eye. Recently I was at a store and flung a WeightWatchers 1 Point Carmel Candy wrapper into a clerk's face. Was it embarrassing? Hell, ya. As embarrassing as a tampon incident? #notevenclose


Ah Twitter, thank you for helping me get over Craigslist... Kinda like trading out methadone for heroin #awesome

I thought this one was going to bring the house down. Let’s just say it didn’t. Guess I should have gone with the hashtag, #soproud #yathatwouldhavedoneit



Onward to someone else besides myself I find funny or informative (well, I guess technically I’m not informative unless you count telling you all the ways I rock).

@zerotosold Save outrageous moments of good fortune for your villains. Heroes should never have it that easy.

What more needs to be said? Some of the best advice for writers I’ve seen lately! #mustcomeupwithabetteroneorstewinbitterness


@BeautyofWisdom Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ~Mark Twain,

That’s right! Take that Nemesis. I’m all wrinkly because I am happier than you are! #notevenIcansellthat


@LMDershem Here, here! From hence forth all DVDs must have Scooby Doo 'alt' ending! :-)

I hate it when someone’s reply is far funnier than my original tweet! Damn you, LM, damn you! :-) Now the question is which one of us gets to hold the Trademark for the Scooby Doo ‘alt’ ending, because I’m sure it’s going to sweep the nation!


@4030lisa Couldnt even stop mahself...Said "no" very sternly...and poof! felt my 'mother eyes' switch on & start boring right into her...

Okay, this came out of an entire string of Tweets about a younger woman almost fainting next to Lisa on the treadmill and then trying to get back up on it! Luckily, Lisa pulled out her ‘mother eyes’ and knocked some sense into the poor girl! #wearegiverslikethat


@MBartloff Driving the blue Carrera is stressful, I'm always checking my mirrors, speed etc. It's like being on a permanent run from the police.

I know, I always felt the same way in my Geo Metro! #sistas LOL


@susanorlean In the category of really weird things children say, my son just announced, "Men would never put suction cups in fruit bowls!"

That tweet made me LOL AGAIN when I pasted it in here. Awesomeness. It does beg the question however, who did put suction cups in fruit bowls (I want to eat there!)



And lastly, @TheDeeView was on FIRE Oscar’s night. I’ve only included a few, but you can check out her “Best of…” blog for the whole story!!!

#Katherine About damned time. #Queenoftheworld

I am such a gay guy, cuz I LOVE #Barbra #Oscars #Holdmedown

Thank God I just peed, cuz I'll be very excited if #Meryl wins. I love her. I just do. #Oscars #ilovehelenmirrentoo

#Sandra Get that girl her burger. Stat. #Oscars

My husband is in the other room, completely messing up the TIVO. I can hear the boing, boing, boing as he just keeps pressing the buttons.


That last Tweet of hers has nothing to do with the Oscars (except for the fact the show chased poor @Taxes007 out of the room), I just found it hysterical #callmeaTivoaddict


Okay, so this next exchange started with poor, poor @Writingstorm innocently giving me a shout out on #FF…

And not forgetting #ww @reginaldstjohn @mbdfilms @craftycmc @lloydwybrow

His fatal error, however was to #FF this shortly thereafter…
Jedi's of writing #ww @LMEighmy @myotherhand @patty_herrera @MsBookish @FictionVxn @KrisESans @calistataylor @FuglyCharlie @nataliecparker


Did you notice how I was NOT mentioned. I mean, how could I tolerate this? I get a ‘oh, yeah, almost forgot about them’ mention when there is a Jedi level? Has Writingstorm read my Tweets?

So after a little prompting, the poor guy comes back with…
Like Jedi's who have merged with Ninjas #ff : @zerotosold @edmatrasul @craftycmc @nataliecparker @trishaleighKC @jamorel @chicklitgurrl


One would have thought it was over and done with, but now my curiosity was piqued…

@writingstorm Ok at this point I need a hierarchy so I know if I'm going up or down on your list!

@craftycmc Oh this is waaaaay up on the list :)


Again, you would have thought that very sweet acknowledgment would have put the subject to rest, but now I was on a mission…

@writingstorm
@craftycmc I haven't quite decided yet, I think there may be one more level above Ninja/Jedi. We just need a name for that level of awesome


Ah, a challenge! We know how I love a challenge (unless of course it requires actual work rather than screwing around on Twitter).

@writingstorm I feared we couldn't beat Jedi/Ninja Hybrid. How about Klingon/Samuri? Peacekeeper/Gunslinger? Any of those work?

@craftycmc Ooh I like the Klingon one. A samurai with a bat'leth...

So it is settled. The highest level a #FF writer may aspire to is a Klingon merged with a Samuri! And now the epilogue…

@craftycmc Many have reached for that level. You are the first Who I think will attain it. Good luck on your quest :-)

@writingstorm Ah, to have a quest worthy of my talents! Now to be excessively arrogant but quick with a sword. At least I'm1/2 way there!

@craftycmc Well your sword skills are legendary.

@writingstorm You, sir, are a true gentleman! I can't wait to become Klingon-Samurai certified! :-)

And now @Writingstorm has gone on to be the lead General in our #MentionMonday army. I like to think me annoying him all day helped motivate him! :-0


And now a shout out to some of my new Followers:
@SoCalVillaGuy @ JamesRossBooks @ mikedoe
WTH is up with all the guys? Clearly they did not thoroughly vet my stream first! So please everyone follow them so they are trapped within our web before these men realize what they’ve gotten themselves into!

@glorypromo @KiraJW @DenisePellow @callytaylor
And follow these chicks just because they are cool! :-)


Lastly, here are some Blogs I picked up on during #MentionMonday – which rocked out loud BTW!

@inasordidworld #MentionMonday I really hate stupid crap like inspirational messages on tampon wrappers. http://bit.ly/cUI3OF

How I wish I had written those words! I aspire to be as doubled-over funny as she (I can only assume a female, although maybe even funnier if a guy did)!


@nataliecparker #MentionMonday Writing Against Zombies! ! http://nataliesee.livejournal.com/ (undead welcome, but be warned)

A girl after my own heart (or is it brains?) Great stuff for the Undead Inclined


#MentionMonday @writingstorm, News on my new project at The Writers Stall: http://twurl.nl/kdq2j8 (Please RT) :-)

My (whether he wants to be or not) Klingon/Samurai/#MentionMonday General is starting off his new Sci-Fi short story series: Dead Beat. Check it out! :-)


#MentionMonday "Sailor's Delight" @JerryLStudio a peek behind the canvas http://short.to/1a6pz

I’m not usually into modern art, but there’s something about his color fields that draw me in, plus the way he talks about his process (which is shockingly similar to writing #whoknew) fascinates me. If you want to go outside your comfort zone, give him a try #hewillpaymelaterfortheplug :-)

Alright, as Porky Pig so eloquently stated…. Th-Th-That’s all Folks!

Thanks for stopping by and perusing what my ever so modest ego thought was some my best stuff!

Be looking for another installment next week, with a few new features like best #vss and I’m going to be participating in #AdoptionTuesday to find needy pets homes!

Until then, watch, then rewatch the new TRON trailer until you have it burned into your retinas!
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1813626064?bclid=0&bctid=71008652001

“That’s a Nice Rack!”

Does it matter that when I was pointing at my roommate's chest, she was holding up an antique spice rack for consideration?

Apparently not, according to the looks on the other shopper’s faces.

I have 'Inappropriate Inuendo-itis' and it appears to be contagious.

Ya, pretty much my roomie and I need to stop speaking in public.

When did everything we say suddenly sound so very wrong?

You want examples? I’ll give you examples.

Roomie “How deep can we penetrate?” She was talking about a garden stake into our sandy back yard but try telling that to the Mom who moved her kids out of the patio section.

“Where’d they put our blue balls?” Do not say this aloud at Wal-Mart, unless you want two hundred eyes upon you! Perhaps next time we will go with “Where do you think the colored, solar-powered light globes have been moved?”

Roomie “I want to just drill it!” Add in the hand movement to really sell it and you’ve got quite a crowd. She, of course, was talking about a set of doors that needed to be secured.

“Be gentle. You have to give time for the hole to get bigger before you shove it in there.” In my defense, I was talking about creating a guide hole into delicate tile, but you can imagine the look the handyman gave me.

As you can see, we cause quite the stir whenever out and about with people within ear shot.

So I guess the only thing we can do is pucker up and sit on it! #istherea12step