Holy Easter, Batman!

Finally the day that I... and my taste buds have been waiting for!

Easter!!! (i.e. the end of Lent!)

As you might have heard (you know all those whiney Tweets and blogs) that I had given up candy and fast food.  Why I picked both I have no idea (and trust me my roommate and co-workers wonder exactly the same thing!)

But now the blessed day is here.

So first thing this morning I load the dogs into the car and head to a drive-thru McDonalds.  And what do you imagine but an Easter miracle!  They have cherry pies back!  Give me 3!

Loaded down with several sausage McMuffins, cherry pies and a mint shake I head home.

And like a kid at Christmas (or Easter for that matter) I chow down.  I am so proud that I didn't even finish off the Red Vines I had my roommate bring home.

Stuffed and satisfied I go to lay back down so I can sleep in when...

The tummy ache hits.  And yes, my roommate did in fact warn me about that so now I can't even complain about it in front of her!

I am sure there is a moral to this story which I am sure I would comprehend if I wasn't fantasizing about the 1 cherry pie left in the fridge :-) #seriously #IwonderwhenIwillfeelgoodenoughtoeatit #neverlearn

Let's kick some _____

A**...  feathers off... angel's booty...  Take your pick.

Um, wait... most of you may not know what I am talking about so let me back up.

First off there is a free Kindle at stake for you, my loyal reader (explained at the end of this post), but for us authors?   We are locked in mortal combat for Blog Tour de Force's: Cage Match.

You see I am in a good spirited (well, at least I am pretending to be good spirited, we shall see by the end of the day) competition against a very good friend of mine and co-founder of the Indie Book Collective, Amber Scott.

That's right, Amber and I are going mano-e-mano today, (virtually of course, because let's face it, if it were in person I would have thrown in the white flag already and gone out for lasagna).

She's got her paranormal romance thriller "Fierce Dawn." #okay #Iwillgiveherthatitisagreattitle

Sure, Fierce Dawn is exciting.  And okay, I will give her that her cast of characters are really interesting... and fine... the sexual tension is crackling... and she's got angels and vampires and changelings duking it out for the future of mankind...

But come on, we are talking about her going up against "Plain Jane."

Dark, gritty, intense.  "Plain Jane" has am FBI profiler nearly as deadly as the serial killers he hunts.  As to sexual tension, as one one reviewer put it "suddenly dysfunctional never sounded so sexy."  To say that the profiler and his ex-partner can generate some heat... well... you'll just have to read it to see for yourself.

When I asked my main character, Kent Harbinger, about our odds against Amber's angels and vampires, he said "Give me a pair of silver tweezers.  I'll take them both out."  And he would. #duh

After all "Plain Jane" is a Patterson-style thriller with a dash of Hannibal.  All's I am going to say is that Harbinger can bring it. #andisntafraidto #gothere

So embrace your dark side and comment below about why "Plain Jane" should win today's match and as a thank you, win a free eBook copy of "Plain Jane."

But that's not all!  Every comment also gets you entered into the free Kindle give-away!

Want to really amp up your chance to win that free Kindle?  Once you get the links/codes to Plain Jane, find your favorite passage (from anywhere past the first few chapters), come back and tell us about it in the comments and get 5 extra entries to win the free Kindle!

Wanna to double that?  Just send a friend to this blog today and if they leave a comment about "Plain Jane" and mention you as a referrer, you both get 5 extra entries!  #PlainJaneRocks

Then to just make this a crazy, crazy Cage Match, I will be giving out $5 Amazon gift cards randomly through the day to commenters!  Yes, this is your lucky day :-)

Please remember to leave me some easy way to contact you in your comment (twitter handle, FB name, email address written out long hand... such as craftycmc at aol dot com to fool the bots) otherwise I can't get you your free eBook, entries into the Kindle and $5 gift cards.

And if you want to get a free copy of Amber's "Fierce Dawn" head over to her blog... tomorrow!  You know, after I've won the match today ;-) #notatallcompetitive

Also, head onto the your preferred social media platform and feel free to hand out some smack talk about "Fierce Dawn."  #Ambercantakeit

Thanks so much for reading and thanks for being a part of #TeamPlainJane

Facebook is dumb...

Yes, I know I have probably insulted half of you, but come on!  And Yes, I know that I am a social media guru for authors, but come on!

My latest trip to Weirdo-land, I  mean my Facebook page, there was a new window on the right hand side that said something like, "These are people your friends are following."

Now on EVERY other social media platform you simply click to add that person.  It is how you grow.

And in this circumstance, the person happened to be a sister-in-law of a friend.  Do I know her personally.  Sort of. Can I recite her social security number?  No.

I mean, if you told her who I was, she would be like "Oh, ya, her."

But when I click on the 'friend' button a huge window pops up BORDERED IN RED, that says, unless I know this member PERSONALLY (their caps, not mine), my attempt to friend her will be considered SPAM and I could be suspended.

Um... dude... Facebook is the one that suggested I should follow her!  Seriously.  Make up your mind.

Are you the social media platform that is so obsessed with making money that you will sell every scrap of my personal information to the highest bidder or are you the platform that will ex-communicate me for daring to reach out to the sister-in-law of a friend.

Seriously.  #PickOne

So, I am sorry if I have offended any FB fans, but really... #ComeOn

P.S. When I went to find a graphic for this post, I typed in 'dumb Facebook' and wouldn't you know I had hundreds of pics to choose from. #guessIamnottheonlyone

Guest Post from @RachelintheOC

Sometimes I think I'm too jaded. Then I think no, it's just the lighting ~

Rachel Thompson, A Walk In The Snark

Carolyn writes about dating after 40. I write about #Mancode from the perspective of having been married for over eighteen years.

But hey, dudes are dudes.

They can be sweet, generous, great cooks, and generally lovely when it comes to sharing their omelets with you. They can also be selfish with the TV remote, terrible housekeepers, and forgetful when it comes to remembering to buy your particular brand of coffee at the store. Every freakin time they go. #Sigh

My book A Walk In The Snark: Best of RachelintheOC focuses on the goofy things men do (#Mancode) and how we chicks deal with it. I also help the guys out in understanding how women function (why they don’t get Chick Time or Shoe Math is beyond me #pft ) through my #Chickspeak essays.

But who am I? I’m no therapist (though if you want to know how to make a dirty martini, I’m your gal). And how did I go from blog to book?

Well, I started my RachelintheOC.com blog a few years ago but really hit my stride last year with my first #Mancode essay, Men are from Seinfeld, Women are from Friends. I’m a WAHM (Write At Home Mom) who just got tired of my guy never changing the toilet paper roll. For eighteen years. The response was huge, overwhelming. Clearly, I wasn’t the only chick whose dude had household paper product allergies.

Why can men change the world but not the toilet paper roll? 

I continued to write #Mancode posts and found a kernel of an idea. Why not expand my female-centric essays to include something for the guys? I had a growing Twitter presence and my male followers responded overwhelmingly positively: what are chicks thinking? What do we mean when we say “I’m Fine?” So I started my #Chickspeak essays to clue them in.

And I was off.

There are some poignant pieces mixed in where you see that being a redhead in a sea of blondes (I do lives in the OC after all) is not all beaches and martinis. But hey, that’s real life, baby.

I hope you’ll purchase my eBook (no Kindle required) for just 99 cents starting today through midnight Wednesday on Amazon as part of the Indie Book Collective’s special Bestseller For A Day’s big promotion! Help propel A Walk In The Snark to the top of the Kindle Top 100 chart and show traditional publishing how successful indie authors can be!

As my Bonus Buy (2 for the price of 1), you can also purchase a fabulous collection of short stories and poems by fab fellow author Kimberly Kinrade. Her book Bits of You & Pieces of Me is also just 99 cents BUT if you return to the site and fill out our fairly painless form, Kimberly will rebate the purchase price. #Woot! Also, you get five entries into my contest to win up to FIVE $10 Amazon Gift Cards!!

SECRET CONTEST: Purchase my book, then visit MY blog. Head over to me at RachelintheOC.com and leave me your favorite quote from the middle of A Walk In The Snark (to confirm purchase) and I will throw my own little Amazon Gift Card party!

Yep. Prove to me your undying love – okay, okay just show me you purchased my book – and I’ll enter your name into my own RachelintheOC.com drawing to win a $50 Amazon Gift Card! I will randomly choose TWO winners so that’s $100 worth of reader love. Who says you can’t buy love #Ijustcrackmyselfup

Please email me if you have any questions or comments at RachelintheOC@gmail.com or come visit my blog anytime RachelintheOC.com or Twitter or Facebook or Goodreads. I’m everywhere (except, ya know, the kitchen). I also cofounded the Indie Book Collective (along w/ founder Carolyn McCray) and teach writers ePublishing, social media and other cool stuff—find me on the @IndieBookIBC stream every day.

Special thanks to Carolyn for letting me guest blog today. No lasagnas were harmed in the making of this blog post.