Guest Post from @RachelintheOC

Sometimes I think I'm too jaded. Then I think no, it's just the lighting ~

Rachel Thompson, A Walk In The Snark

Carolyn writes about dating after 40. I write about #Mancode from the perspective of having been married for over eighteen years.

But hey, dudes are dudes.

They can be sweet, generous, great cooks, and generally lovely when it comes to sharing their omelets with you. They can also be selfish with the TV remote, terrible housekeepers, and forgetful when it comes to remembering to buy your particular brand of coffee at the store. Every freakin time they go. #Sigh

My book A Walk In The Snark: Best of RachelintheOC focuses on the goofy things men do (#Mancode) and how we chicks deal with it. I also help the guys out in understanding how women function (why they don’t get Chick Time or Shoe Math is beyond me #pft ) through my #Chickspeak essays.

But who am I? I’m no therapist (though if you want to know how to make a dirty martini, I’m your gal). And how did I go from blog to book?

Well, I started my RachelintheOC.com blog a few years ago but really hit my stride last year with my first #Mancode essay, Men are from Seinfeld, Women are from Friends. I’m a WAHM (Write At Home Mom) who just got tired of my guy never changing the toilet paper roll. For eighteen years. The response was huge, overwhelming. Clearly, I wasn’t the only chick whose dude had household paper product allergies.

Why can men change the world but not the toilet paper roll? 

I continued to write #Mancode posts and found a kernel of an idea. Why not expand my female-centric essays to include something for the guys? I had a growing Twitter presence and my male followers responded overwhelmingly positively: what are chicks thinking? What do we mean when we say “I’m Fine?” So I started my #Chickspeak essays to clue them in.

And I was off.

There are some poignant pieces mixed in where you see that being a redhead in a sea of blondes (I do lives in the OC after all) is not all beaches and martinis. But hey, that’s real life, baby.

I hope you’ll purchase my eBook (no Kindle required) for just 99 cents starting today through midnight Wednesday on Amazon as part of the Indie Book Collective’s special Bestseller For A Day’s big promotion! Help propel A Walk In The Snark to the top of the Kindle Top 100 chart and show traditional publishing how successful indie authors can be!

As my Bonus Buy (2 for the price of 1), you can also purchase a fabulous collection of short stories and poems by fab fellow author Kimberly Kinrade. Her book Bits of You & Pieces of Me is also just 99 cents BUT if you return to the site and fill out our fairly painless form, Kimberly will rebate the purchase price. #Woot! Also, you get five entries into my contest to win up to FIVE $10 Amazon Gift Cards!!

SECRET CONTEST: Purchase my book, then visit MY blog. Head over to me at RachelintheOC.com and leave me your favorite quote from the middle of A Walk In The Snark (to confirm purchase) and I will throw my own little Amazon Gift Card party!

Yep. Prove to me your undying love – okay, okay just show me you purchased my book – and I’ll enter your name into my own RachelintheOC.com drawing to win a $50 Amazon Gift Card! I will randomly choose TWO winners so that’s $100 worth of reader love. Who says you can’t buy love #Ijustcrackmyselfup

Please email me if you have any questions or comments at RachelintheOC@gmail.com or come visit my blog anytime RachelintheOC.com or Twitter or Facebook or Goodreads. I’m everywhere (except, ya know, the kitchen). I also cofounded the Indie Book Collective (along w/ founder Carolyn McCray) and teach writers ePublishing, social media and other cool stuff—find me on the @IndieBookIBC stream every day.

Special thanks to Carolyn for letting me guest blog today. No lasagnas were harmed in the making of this blog post.

I really should not interact with strangers...

Or even friends of friends of friends.

Let me set the stage.

I am fostering a puppy.  My receptionist's brother's best friend's niece might be interested.  But they want to meet the puppy.

Great!  Wait, what?  I have to be there.  #ohdear.

But I am brave and want this puppy to get a good home, so I say sure, come on over.  Wait, what?  They want to come over at 7:30pm?  Um, do they not realize that is just 1/2 hour before my bedtime?

But again, sure.  The puppy wants a good home.

For the first ten minutes I am so proud of myself.  I have not done anything stupid or weird or downright bizarre.

Then they want to meet Princess, because she sounded like a really cute Chihuahua.

I get very excited and jump up and right in front of them push out my chest, start unzipping my jacket and say "You're gonna love this!"

Ah, the look of pure horror on their faces.  I then clarify "I've got a Chihuahua in my bra."

Again, that clarification never seems to calm people down.

Luckily Chief, the Chihuahua that lives in my bra is pretty damn cute so as soon as he sticks his head out of my shirt, everyone calms down and stops dialing 911 (or at least waits before they hit 'dial') LOL

So again.  I really shouldn't interact with strangers #ever #youwouldthinkIwouldlearn

Lent - My favorite time of year!

No! Seriously!  I mean it!

New Year's.  Smoo-Years.  Give me Lent any time!

Okay, so maybe it isn't all fun and games.  Maybe my relationship with Lent  is a little bit of a love/hate relationship.  I love giving things up for Lent.  I love committing to a sacred bond.  And then you know... the week's pass.

Dear God they pass.  And pass and pass.

Exactly how long is 6 freaking weeks anyway?  How can 42 days stretch out into an eternity?  #HOW

But for all my moaning and complaining, Lent sets me up right for the rest of the year.

A little discipline in a life otherwise filled with indulgence.

Um, how many more days of this do I have to go through????? LOL

So if you happen to sit down to a meal with my favorite foods (you know 'em... lasagna, lemon merange pie, Twix) think of me and pray this 6 weeks flies by! :-) :-) :-)

SXSW - An After-Action Report!

Yes, I survived social interaction!  #shockingIknow

I mean, there were only three or four times that I felt like running away from a group of people, screaming with my hands over my hear.  That must be some kind of record (and for those of you just joining craftycmc, I mean it is a record for how LOW that number is.  Check out my "Anti-Social blog" for the full story!)

I also made no major social gaffs (ok, there was the time @RachelintheOC and I couldn't get out of a taxi-van in high heels, but that is for another blog).

And this is going to shock anyone who has been reading me for a while.  Things worked out as planned!  I know, right?  No stranded seal pups (read here for that adventure), no shouting out inappropriate things in a crowd (read my "This is a nice rack" for that one), and (unfortunately) no Chihuahua in my bra popping out at the most inopportune times.

Nope, for this trip I was all professional and stuff!  I even wore make-up (yes, I know that is one of the seven seals breaking).

And, *gasp* I did really well on the panel.  Lots of questions thrown my way regarding self-publishing (I am the founder of the Indie Book Collective after all) and after I got off the dias I was swarmed with people (and STILL I did not run screaming away *ya*me*).  I even got a few interviews with national publications out of the deal.

So the moral of this story?  Sometimes it is worth leaving your beach home and Chihuahuas.  Of course, will that said I flew out the day after the panel and as soon as I got home put a Chihuahua in my bra, but hey, you can't expect a leopard to change all her spots in one weekend! :-) :-) :-)

*Super, duper absolutely stupendous update!!!  My article on how to better sell your books on Amazon.com has been posted on the Digital Book World site, right here!  #Imaybehyperventilating #notsure

Well... Did I do it?

Yes, there are many, many ways to take that question, however I am talking about my Bestseller for a Day with "30 Pieces of Silver" and did I land a NY agent?

Well, that story is still to be told.  Yes, Bestseller for a Day did in fact get "30 Pieces of Silver" into the hands of a NY agent.  Now we must all wait with bated breath, crossing our fingers and toes, and holding our breath (well, at least I will be :-)

The great news is that "30 Pieces of Silver" peaked at #183!  That's right out of 4,000,000 books my little ole controversial thriller was 183!  And not just that but it also captured the #1 slot for Men's Adventure last Monday, but it also popped in and out of the #1 spot Tuesday and Wednesday!

So yes, it was a pretty amazing ride!

But now on the to the next one! SXSW. #crap #Ihavetotalktopeopleinperson

I love being a social media expert.  I love being a self-publishing expert.  I even love doing conference panels.  But then all good things must end and I have to come down off the dias and mingle with....GASP... strangers!

Can you imagine?  Well, actually you don't have the imagine.  You can read this post about last year's Bloggy Boot Camp.

Luckily my partner in crime, @RachelintheOC is going with me.  Now, let's be clear. I will still say incredibly awkward things.  I will wander away from conversations because I am just done with them and I will in fact get myself into some Keystone cop impossible situation, but at the very least I will have Rachel there to explain to everyone... "Oh, she's just anti-social."

Check back next week to find out SXSW went and to see if my dream agent even knows my name :-) LOL

My Hopes and Dreams Hinge on You Today...

But, hey, not too much pressure right? LOL

Sorry, but today (Feb 28th, 2011 in case you read this later, which please keep reading because you late comers are my plan "B") could change my life (and win you a Kindle or part of my $150 Amazon gift card give away, but details on that later).

And not in the usual way of... if only I had lasagna I know I would feel loved.

No, today is one of those days when my luck could truly turn around.

Why, you ask?

Well, thank you so much for the interest!

You see I am participating in "Bestseller for a Day."  This event attempts to drive as much traffic to a single author's Kindle page and shoot it up the charts.

The hope being, that we prove that an indie author can compete with the big boys, at least on Amazon.

And my controversial historical thriller (ala Da Vinci Code) "30 Pieces of Silver" is the Bestseller for a Day.

You can only imagine how nervous I am.

Because I have done all my leg work. Not only have I written a completely kick-a** thriller (or so NYT Bestseller James Rollins says), but I have lined up an agent who is watching my Amazon numbers very closely today.

If I do well enough, I'm agented by a major NY agent.

If I don't... well, I will just hang my head in shame and beg #seriously #youknowIwill #Ihavenoshame #evenwhenIshould #sopleasesaveme #frommyself

So if you have ever liked a single word I have ever written or thought, "that girl deserves a break", or you just pity me for my lack of a love life, please head on over to "30 Pieces of Silver's" Amazon page and plunk down your hard earned 99 cents and buy the danged book!

Even if you don't enjoy thrillers per se (like the work of such authors as James Rollins, Steve Berry, Brad Thor, and Clive Cussler) buy the book anyway. It is NOT DRM so you can give the sucker away to someone who could appreciate it.

And to sweeten the deal, Bestseller for a Day also has a "Bonus Buy." Basically if you buy "30 Pieces of Silver" today with my Patterson-style thriller with a dash of Hannibal, "Plain Jane," I  will refund you the complete purchase price of either "Plain Jane."

Basically you could end up with 2 books for under a buck when it is all said and done.  How awesome is that???

I haven't asked much of you... oh wait... I usually do want your adoration and unswerving devotion, but besides that and well, advice on my love life, I haven't asked for much #justworkwithmehere

But today, I do ask for you to do something incredibly meaningful for me.  Purchase "30 Pieces of Silver" and help get me the agent I have always dreamed of.

Because, I mean, how often do you really get the chance to transform someone's lives and make a dream come true, especially for just 99 cents! (and yes, I am still talking about "30 Pieces of Silver" and not a blind date with Steve McGarrett... although.... LOL).

Now, you are probably saying, that's wonderful Carolyn, but, um... what about that Kindle you are giving away or even the "Insta Win" $5 gift cards that I am giving away today (Feb 28th).

For super detailed instructions on how to enter any and all of those, just head on over to www.bestsellerforaday.com

Basically you can always get 1 entirely free entry, but the entries really pile up if you buy "30 Pieces of Silver" and especially if you go in for the "Bonus Buys."

The winner of the Kindle will be Announced on next Monday's blog so check back then, and be watching your email since you could also win some of those 'insta' win $5 Amazon gift cards!

Again, thank you all for your support! #inadvance :-)

Spoiled #cubed

 I miss Jiffy Pop.

Sure, I am certain I can still find some, somewhere and pop my own corn on the stove, but then I think...

Orrrrr I could just nuke some and sit down for a few minutes and check my email while it pops.

Plus in this day and age of more and more powerful microwaves it is hard to remember a time when 10-15 minutes shaking a thing on the stove was considered 'Jiffy.'

So, yes, Jiffy Pop still exists, but I am just too spoiled to use it. I can just close my eyes, listen to the microwave popcorn, smell the scent and imagine how much more fun it would be if I were doing it on the stove. #goodenoughforme

I also get mad at my phone at work. Did you know I actually have to dial the numbers? I have to press actual buttons to make things happen. And guess what if I mis-dial a number I have to start ALL OVER AGAIN??? What is up with that?

Oh, ya, it is actually how phones have worked since their invention. I just got spoiled by my iPhone.

And speaking of an iPhone (which I do frequently and with great love and devotion), as I was typing this blog, I made several spelling errors. Now you would think I would be content that the the program highlighted mis-spelled words.

But no, even that is not enough for me. I want them auto-corrected. Just fix it already!

Yes, technology has spoiled me. But oh how I love my tech in return.

Once you've had tech... well, you are too busy playing with it to care about much else :-)

Who's with me?
Tell me your "spoiled" moments!