Indie Book Event - A Recap of Social Awkwardness

Glued Back Together - Poignancy Alert!

I have had a lot of loss this year.  Three beloved pets.  But they were elderly and I was #somewhat prepared, being a veterinarian and all, for when their end came.

Then a puppy burst into my life, Jaspy J (his rapper name FYI) and brought such joy.  You see he was a cat-dog.  He climbed cat trees.  He peed in litter boxes and his best friend (besides me of course) was a cat.

Sure he had his issues... like having to be within line of sight of me at ALL times, but we truly were best buddies.

But his best quality was that he always worked things out.  I didn't want him on my lap.  No worries!  he would spend fifteen minutes flattening himself into a pancake and sneaking under my laptop until he was wedged between it and me.  Mission accomplished!

Then he got sick.  It was stupid really.  He must have eaten something he shouldn't have.  Puppies do that all the time.  I treat puppies who do that all the time.  No biggie.

But then he started bleeding into his bowel.  Okay, maybe not so common but I have treated a million of those and had 999,999 get better.

Yet even after several transfusions he still bled.  It was time to take him to surgery.

And we could NOT find the bleeder.  I sank to the floor, knowing if surgery did not work, the chances that Jaspy J would pull through were dim.

But he worked things out.  He was young.  We prayed for a miracle.

And it seemed we got it.  For a full week he recovered.  I was even ready to take your his sutures when he suddednly crashed again.

This time, this time no amount of praying could pull him through.

When I finally had to put him down, I felt my heart shatter.  I mean I FELT it.

At first it was a loud crack and it broke along the major fault lines, but then as those shattered pieces fell the floor I heard the tinkering of a thousands shards scattering across the floor.

I thought this is it.  After everything I have been through after all the wounds and all the healing I will end up like Jasper.  Doomed to succumb.

I wasn't going to get another dog.  Possibly EVER.  I felt jinxed and damaged.

I laid awake the next night blaming myself for his death.  I combed over every minute of every day trying to figure out what I had done wrong.  How could I save so many lives and not my own dog's?

Then the night after I lost him, I fell asleep more out of exhaustion than to find peace.

That is when the dream came.  Jasper told me that he did NOT forgive me, simply because there was nothing to forgive.

And by the way, he was finally getting to do his rap since he had a concert and was opening for Tupac.  Who knew God was so into rap? LOL

But most importantly Jasper did not want me to be alone so he told me that his cousin was at the pound and in danger of being put down.

I was to look for a female, with his same divet on his nose and white blaze up his forehead.

I woke up feeling hopeful.  I still really did not want another dog necessarily, but I felt like I had to at least see if this dream was true.

So I went onto the pound's website and sure enough there was 1 dog that was a girl, with a divet and a blaze.  Now if I were to get another dog, I really wanted a male, but who can go against God?

I rushed to the pound but someone else was looking at her.  I shrugged and said I would wait.  After all Jasper had sent me, I knew that I was going home with her and not someone else.

Sure enough, those other people did not want her.

I was really calm when I walked out to the play yard.  "She" was just as cute as promised and loved to jump and kiss your face.

Then we realized "she" was a HE!  He had been mis-catagorized as a female!

Tears rolled down my cheek.  Here was proof positive that Jasper truly was in heaven and wanted me to be happy.

As always he found a way to make it work.  It may not have been perfect or even pretty, but it worked.

Now my heart was not broken... it was glued back together.  I am not sure if it will ever beat quite the same, but due to Jasper it is beating once again :-)

I am a horrible flirt...

No, seriously.

Not like I flirt like crazy, I mean I am horrible at the actual flirting.

So when I heard that this Menage a Blog was all about seducing the reader I knew that I was in trouble.  I mean, did the Blog Tour de Force people not read the title of my blog?  Dating after 40, okay hoping to Date after 40.

My seduction skills are... let us say rusty #rustedthrough

I mean the closest I come to seduction any more is to convince the guy at our local BBQ joint to give me an extra side of sauce for free.  And then half the time he still charges me the 50¢!!!

So you can see why I was a little bit nervous about competing today with Amber Scott and Deena Remiel.

Come on, Amber Scott is not only a huge Kindle bestseller but writes "highly addictive paranormal romance."  Her title is Fierce Dawn and has a total hotty angel on the cover (which begs the question is he naughty or nice?).  I mean just looking at the cover makes me want to jump into bed with her #book.

Then I am also up against Deena Remiel with Brethren Beginnings.  Um... the cover's got a fabulous picture of a guy with phenomenal abs.  She clearly knows my weakness for a nice six-pack!

And the steamy hotness doesn't stop at their covers.  Nope, once you start reading, the pages sizzle as you turn them!

Then there is me with my little ole gentle, brand-spanking new YA fantasy 7 Folds of Winter.  It is more a book you cozy up to with a nice warm cup of cocoa.  The world of 7 Folds is woven in shades of white, blue with splashes of rebellion red.  The characters are rich in variety and even though many of them are not even human, they all have such flawed humanity about them.

It is an old school fantasy that relies on powerful storytelling and intricate world building rather than tricks or gimmicks.

So my only hope in this competition today is that after you are done with the hot and steamy roller coaster ride that is Fierce Dawn and Brethren Beginnings, you will want to take a little break, breathe out a deep sigh and curl up with warm fantasy. #otherwise #Iamscrewed :-)

I was contemplating trying to buy you all off with some lasagna (which totally would have worked for me), but then realized... um... I want all the lasagna for myself! #duh #plusalittlemessyinthemail.

So if you take pity on my and my fledgling fantasy, you can vote for me and receive a free eBook of 7 Folds of Winter, by simply leave a comment below (you do need to give Disqus your email address so that I have somewhere to send your eBook).

Let's show them that sweetness and innocence still count! #theydontseemtoinreallife #soletsmakeithappenhere!!!

Don't forget to hit up Tuesday's line up of Lacey Weatherford's The Trouble with Spells (which is deliciously delightful), Terri Giulaino Long's In Leah's Wake (a heartrending story of family), and Rachel Thompson's Dollars & Sense: The Definitive Guide to Self-Publishing Success (which doesn't sound all that hot unless of course you want to make money off your own book, then this book is smokin' sexy!).

If you are reading this after Monday July 18th, no worries!  You can still obtain a free copy of 7 Folds of Winter! Just leave a comment below and I will be notified! #latecomerswelcome :-)

Also to stay on top of all the give-aways, check in with the Indie Book Collective for each tour day's official schedule :-)


And again, THANKS so much for participating in such an amazing tour and making it so very special for all of us! #awesomeness

I should bathe more frequently...

And not for the obvious hygeine issues (although, some days working from home... LOL).

No, what I find is that laying there in the water, my hair swirling around my face, I think more clearly.

The worries and frustrations seep away and I am left with clarity.

Suddenly problems that have vexed me, are resolved.  Ideas that have been percolating in the back of my mind, come surging to the forefront, ready for action.

I wish I could say that I am great at meditating.  That before bed or in the middle of the day I can sit back, relax and find this focus.

No, there is something magical between the water and myself.  Something happens that insulates me from the chaotic, hectic life I normally lead.  Let me be clear.  I do not light candles, turn off the lights and create a sacred space.

Nope, I am usually in a hurry, late for work, rushing to get ready.

Yet each time, no matter how my body wants to race forward, there is a magical moment when my mind balks and whispers quietly... stay... rest a while.

So from now on, I think I am going to make sure to savor the baths I take every day (okay, every other day... fine you caught me, every three days #hopefully) :-)

Writing... Um... what's the end result?

In the olden days (read three years ago), you shopped this manuscript around to agents and publishers and crossed your fingers that it sold.  If it didn't... um... #crap  That manuscript was dead in the water.  You might as well stash it in a drawer, weep softly then start writing the next one (whose fate more than likely would be the same).

Oh sure, you could VANITY PRESS.  But, um, with a name like that and the stigma attached to it, who wanted to do that?

Then the digital revolution happened.  Amazon.com opened wide its 'doors,' inviting anyone to publish.

At the same time readers began flocking to digital books and avoiding the traditional brick and mortar stores (hence why Borders is practically out of business and Barnes and Noble is being sold).

The shift in the publishing world cannot be overstated.

And the biggest beneficiary. beyond the reader who know can shop from the comfort of their living room and start reading within moments of purchase?  The indie author.

Me.  You.  All of us.

Now I know there are a lot of stiff backs right now and hackles up, and sure last year we could have argued the merit of self-publishing, but now?  Now that the houses are clamping down on purchasing ANY books by new authors?  Now self-publishing is nearly your only option.

The Big 6 and every small publishers is hemorrhaging right now. Privately they talk about "catastrophic" declines in sales.

There has never been a worse time to try and sell a book.  And try to get a house to fork out any advertising money?  Darlin', they just don't have it.

So indie it is... or... you know... store your manuscript's file on your harddrive and start writing the next one.

Luckily many have gone before us though and shown the way and I have had a pretty good run of sales the last year (far better than the VAST majority of published (even mid-list authors) I know ($20,000 and counting this year so far).

And this week the book I wrote with my fellow Indie Book Collective's Co-founders, Amber Scott and Rachel Thompson...
"Dollars & Sense: The Definitive Guide to Self-Publishing" is launching.

"Dollars &  Sense" can take the indie publishing neo-phyte from manuscript to publication, using a step-by-step method.  The book walks you through making sure your work is in publishable shape, to formatting, to learning social media, to how to potentate your book sales.

And the best part?  Thru June 29th it is just 99 cents!  Crazy right?  A total blue-print for indie publishing success for less than a buck!

So if you have any hopes and dreams about publishing (even if you go traditional publishing, you are going to need to know all this info since your house EXPECTS you to know how to use social media etc to gain name recognition), hop on over to Amazon and pick up your copy! #now #Imeanit :-)

Summer Break has arrived...

Darn it!

I usually LOVE living at the beach.  I mean, who wouldn't?  It sounds so beautiful and idyllic.  Which it normally is until...

Summer Break. #godhelpme

You know all those kids cheering that they are getting out of school?  Do you know exactly where they are going to head? Um... #myhouse

Ok, maybe not all of them, but LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of them.

And it isn't even like when people visit the beach they act safe and sane.  They GO CRAZY.

Behavior they would NEVER do, they do... right in front of my bedroom window!

Um... you do realize I can see you making out/taking your bikini top off/beating up your little brother? Right?

And the trash #oy

I bet you that this summer... at least once someone will...
Pee on my car tires
Have sex under my window
Try to climb into my yard, drunkingly trying to find their car
Shoot off fireworks... for no good reason
Shout at 2am "WAHOO" for no good reason (waking the whole house up)
Walking around naked on the beach as if my windows are not facing directly at them

Oh wait.  That is a safe bet.  Why?
Because they have ALL ALREADY HAPPENED.  Yep, one week in and my checklist if complete
#helpme #pleasehelpme

So yes, this is going to be a short blog... because I have to go outside and clean up ice cream containers, sippy cups, and used prophylactics #ah #summer

Eternal Optimist...

Yes, strangely that turns out to be me. #Iknow #weird

How did I come to be called this? (well, to be honest the person said "you are either an eternal optimist or a masochist, but I chose to go with the former).

It involved Craig's List #ofcourseitdidyousay

You see it all started when I got my 'super-geeky-you-love-Lord-of-the-rings-way-too-much' newsletter from Warner Bros.  They KNOW if they put something out, I will buy it, so I get all their super secret special deals.

And low and behold I opened this email with bated breath.  I mean LOTR was so long ago.  How could they possibly have something NEW to sell me? #yetIhadmycreditcardready #becausewhateveritwas #itwasmine

I find that they are putting out the extended editions onto Blu-Ray.  Awesome, of course I pre-order them #duh

But wait...  They are putting the EXTENDED versions of the LOTR movies BACK into the THEATERS (and yes, I know I just CAPITALIZED a lot of words, but you must understand my sheer joy and lack of abandon) for 1 night each.

DEAR GOD, MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED #no #seriously #alifesdreamofmine

So I rush over to the site and scoop up 2 tickets each for each showing.

I am so happy and so content to know that I will be seeing these films... alone. #oh #crap

Yes, you see while I have such an amazing set of friends, they either live far away (Twitter is great, but gives you a bunch of long distance relationships) or they live nearby but aren't insanely in love with LOTR #weirdIknow And I wanted to go with someone INSANELY in love with LOTR so we could talk each and every delicious detail of the films.

So I automatically reach out to an on-line source.

Without thinking I write an ad on CraigsList... because clearly I confused it with Twitter and all of those nice folks.  But I knew I needed something local so I went with CL. And figured, how could I run afoul with a sweet, nice, "do you want to see LOTR with me" ad. #hencetheeternaloptomist

Um.... clearly A LOT.
I love men, but the men on CL are... um let's just say... uncouth (you can substitute, weird, gross, or horny here as well).

How an ad that mentions the term gentlemen THREE times can get you a picture of a penis, I will never know. But get them I did.  Now, I must give a few of these credit since they did name their appendages from characters from LOTR.  I have a few Legolas, Aragorn and one Gimli. #sigh

So yes, I hope to have my hope spring eternal, I may just not want to have us swimming over in the CL cesspool! :-) LOL #stillcantwaittogo #evenifalone #woot