Mom's Day...

As most of you know, I had a... let's say complicated relationship with my Mom.

So it is not surprising that this Mother's Day holiday thing can kick up some stuff for me.  Add to that my own lack of children (probably my largest regret out of a life I have learned not to be regretful) and Mother's Day can be... stressful.

Some Mother's Days I feel so down and depressed.  Like how can I ever right my life if it started out so difficult.

Then other Mother's Days I feel guilty that I don't feel down in depressed.  I feel like i should be having a difficult time.

Then there are other Mother's Days like this one.

I just feel... at peace.

Sure tomorrow I may get mad at Mom again for some emotional button she installed, but for today I am just glad she was my Mom and I can honestly honor her for trying as hard as she did to protect me and contain her crazy.

I also honor myself for mentoring so many young women and employees.  I may not be a "Mom," Mom, but I have done my fair share of parenting so I can honestly say I have paid it forward.

Then I ask each of the dog's for a kiss... which they are always happy to oblige and call it a day.

So for anyone out there struggling on Mother's Day or any day really, just know 'this too shall pass.'  And surprisingly even get better :-) :-) :-)

Happy Mother's Day to one and all :-)

 :-)

Saying Goodbye.

Let me start by saying that "The Office" kicked my ass this week. 


Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE the "The Office" but to be perfectly honest I was not a huge Michael Scott fan.  He was just TOO awkward.  It wasn't funny so much as uncomfortable. I have enough bizarre, uncomfortable interactions in my real life, I don't need them in my TV life.


No, what I watched "The Office" for was Pam and Jim.  Dwight's out of control bizarreness. And the rest of the gang's exploits.


So it took me a little off-guard when I was so affected by Michael's leaving the show.  You thought I would have been relieved, but the writers did such a great job of allowing Michael to grow up.. you know?  The guy he could have always been was finally there.


And then this last episode with him?  He was so tender and so very vulnerable.  I think I cried through the whole thing. Then at the end with Pam?  Sobbing.


But it didn't end there.  I felt so heavy and depressed after the episode.  I tried to shake it off, but couldn't.  I watched a few more comedies and a C.S.I. (cuz trying to catch a whacko serial killer is my idea of fun).

Yet I went to bed morose.  It wasn't until I tried to go to sleep and that haunting image of Pam up on her tip toes hugging Michael came to me and I started bawling again that I realized my deep sorrow had nothing to do with "The Office."


It had to do with Gary.  I was so bitter that I did not have that last hug (see ___ blog for the full story).  I too would have stood up on my tippy toes. But unlike Pam, I would have begged, and pleaded, and screamed, and clutched.


I would not have allowed Gary to get on that plane to heaven so peacefully.


If I could have, I would have thrown a scene to end all scenes to keep Gary here with me.  I would have done ANYTHING to keep him here.


But as always when I let Gary truly into my heart and even when I am sobbing my heart out thinking that it can never be put back together, Gary comes through.


I let myself imagine what if we truly had been able to actually have that miraculous last hug.

Still, I was clutching, not ready to let him go.  Not ready to never see him again.  Not ready to never hear him say "I called it."(for the back story see this Lifarre.com article).



Then image came to me of Gary just hugging me so hard, but then making us part. 

He looked into my eyes and said, "Queenie's been alone too long."


Of course he was (or at least that part of Gary that I have internalized forever) talking about his favorite dog.


And he was of course right.  Queenie had been alone too long in heaven.  That was the one and only thing he could have said to me that would have gotten me to stop clutching at him.  His time here was done.  I didn't like it, but I felt it.



Even though I still cannot see it clearly, I felt last night that there might be some rhythm or reason to this whole life thing.  And that while I want to stay here on this plane was long as I am able, I also know what awaits me.


I know once I take that plane into the everlasting sky, who will be waiting for me and then I will get that hug I so desperately crave.  #thankyouTheOffice #thankyou

Holy Easter, Batman!

Finally the day that I... and my taste buds have been waiting for!

Easter!!! (i.e. the end of Lent!)

As you might have heard (you know all those whiney Tweets and blogs) that I had given up candy and fast food.  Why I picked both I have no idea (and trust me my roommate and co-workers wonder exactly the same thing!)

But now the blessed day is here.

So first thing this morning I load the dogs into the car and head to a drive-thru McDonalds.  And what do you imagine but an Easter miracle!  They have cherry pies back!  Give me 3!

Loaded down with several sausage McMuffins, cherry pies and a mint shake I head home.

And like a kid at Christmas (or Easter for that matter) I chow down.  I am so proud that I didn't even finish off the Red Vines I had my roommate bring home.

Stuffed and satisfied I go to lay back down so I can sleep in when...

The tummy ache hits.  And yes, my roommate did in fact warn me about that so now I can't even complain about it in front of her!

I am sure there is a moral to this story which I am sure I would comprehend if I wasn't fantasizing about the 1 cherry pie left in the fridge :-) #seriously #IwonderwhenIwillfeelgoodenoughtoeatit #neverlearn

Let's kick some _____

A**...  feathers off... angel's booty...  Take your pick.

Um, wait... most of you may not know what I am talking about so let me back up.

First off there is a free Kindle at stake for you, my loyal reader (explained at the end of this post), but for us authors?   We are locked in mortal combat for Blog Tour de Force's: Cage Match.

You see I am in a good spirited (well, at least I am pretending to be good spirited, we shall see by the end of the day) competition against a very good friend of mine and co-founder of the Indie Book Collective, Amber Scott.

That's right, Amber and I are going mano-e-mano today, (virtually of course, because let's face it, if it were in person I would have thrown in the white flag already and gone out for lasagna).

She's got her paranormal romance thriller "Fierce Dawn." #okay #Iwillgiveherthatitisagreattitle

Sure, Fierce Dawn is exciting.  And okay, I will give her that her cast of characters are really interesting... and fine... the sexual tension is crackling... and she's got angels and vampires and changelings duking it out for the future of mankind...

But come on, we are talking about her going up against "Plain Jane."

Dark, gritty, intense.  "Plain Jane" has am FBI profiler nearly as deadly as the serial killers he hunts.  As to sexual tension, as one one reviewer put it "suddenly dysfunctional never sounded so sexy."  To say that the profiler and his ex-partner can generate some heat... well... you'll just have to read it to see for yourself.

When I asked my main character, Kent Harbinger, about our odds against Amber's angels and vampires, he said "Give me a pair of silver tweezers.  I'll take them both out."  And he would. #duh

After all "Plain Jane" is a Patterson-style thriller with a dash of Hannibal.  All's I am going to say is that Harbinger can bring it. #andisntafraidto #gothere

So embrace your dark side and comment below about why "Plain Jane" should win today's match and as a thank you, win a free eBook copy of "Plain Jane."

But that's not all!  Every comment also gets you entered into the free Kindle give-away!

Want to really amp up your chance to win that free Kindle?  Once you get the links/codes to Plain Jane, find your favorite passage (from anywhere past the first few chapters), come back and tell us about it in the comments and get 5 extra entries to win the free Kindle!

Wanna to double that?  Just send a friend to this blog today and if they leave a comment about "Plain Jane" and mention you as a referrer, you both get 5 extra entries!  #PlainJaneRocks

Then to just make this a crazy, crazy Cage Match, I will be giving out $5 Amazon gift cards randomly through the day to commenters!  Yes, this is your lucky day :-)

Please remember to leave me some easy way to contact you in your comment (twitter handle, FB name, email address written out long hand... such as craftycmc at aol dot com to fool the bots) otherwise I can't get you your free eBook, entries into the Kindle and $5 gift cards.

And if you want to get a free copy of Amber's "Fierce Dawn" head over to her blog... tomorrow!  You know, after I've won the match today ;-) #notatallcompetitive

Also, head onto the your preferred social media platform and feel free to hand out some smack talk about "Fierce Dawn."  #Ambercantakeit

Thanks so much for reading and thanks for being a part of #TeamPlainJane

Facebook is dumb...

Yes, I know I have probably insulted half of you, but come on!  And Yes, I know that I am a social media guru for authors, but come on!

My latest trip to Weirdo-land, I  mean my Facebook page, there was a new window on the right hand side that said something like, "These are people your friends are following."

Now on EVERY other social media platform you simply click to add that person.  It is how you grow.

And in this circumstance, the person happened to be a sister-in-law of a friend.  Do I know her personally.  Sort of. Can I recite her social security number?  No.

I mean, if you told her who I was, she would be like "Oh, ya, her."

But when I click on the 'friend' button a huge window pops up BORDERED IN RED, that says, unless I know this member PERSONALLY (their caps, not mine), my attempt to friend her will be considered SPAM and I could be suspended.

Um... dude... Facebook is the one that suggested I should follow her!  Seriously.  Make up your mind.

Are you the social media platform that is so obsessed with making money that you will sell every scrap of my personal information to the highest bidder or are you the platform that will ex-communicate me for daring to reach out to the sister-in-law of a friend.

Seriously.  #PickOne

So, I am sorry if I have offended any FB fans, but really... #ComeOn

P.S. When I went to find a graphic for this post, I typed in 'dumb Facebook' and wouldn't you know I had hundreds of pics to choose from. #guessIamnottheonlyone

Guest Post from @RachelintheOC

Sometimes I think I'm too jaded. Then I think no, it's just the lighting ~

Rachel Thompson, A Walk In The Snark

Carolyn writes about dating after 40. I write about #Mancode from the perspective of having been married for over eighteen years.

But hey, dudes are dudes.

They can be sweet, generous, great cooks, and generally lovely when it comes to sharing their omelets with you. They can also be selfish with the TV remote, terrible housekeepers, and forgetful when it comes to remembering to buy your particular brand of coffee at the store. Every freakin time they go. #Sigh

My book A Walk In The Snark: Best of RachelintheOC focuses on the goofy things men do (#Mancode) and how we chicks deal with it. I also help the guys out in understanding how women function (why they don’t get Chick Time or Shoe Math is beyond me #pft ) through my #Chickspeak essays.

But who am I? I’m no therapist (though if you want to know how to make a dirty martini, I’m your gal). And how did I go from blog to book?

Well, I started my RachelintheOC.com blog a few years ago but really hit my stride last year with my first #Mancode essay, Men are from Seinfeld, Women are from Friends. I’m a WAHM (Write At Home Mom) who just got tired of my guy never changing the toilet paper roll. For eighteen years. The response was huge, overwhelming. Clearly, I wasn’t the only chick whose dude had household paper product allergies.

Why can men change the world but not the toilet paper roll? 

I continued to write #Mancode posts and found a kernel of an idea. Why not expand my female-centric essays to include something for the guys? I had a growing Twitter presence and my male followers responded overwhelmingly positively: what are chicks thinking? What do we mean when we say “I’m Fine?” So I started my #Chickspeak essays to clue them in.

And I was off.

There are some poignant pieces mixed in where you see that being a redhead in a sea of blondes (I do lives in the OC after all) is not all beaches and martinis. But hey, that’s real life, baby.

I hope you’ll purchase my eBook (no Kindle required) for just 99 cents starting today through midnight Wednesday on Amazon as part of the Indie Book Collective’s special Bestseller For A Day’s big promotion! Help propel A Walk In The Snark to the top of the Kindle Top 100 chart and show traditional publishing how successful indie authors can be!

As my Bonus Buy (2 for the price of 1), you can also purchase a fabulous collection of short stories and poems by fab fellow author Kimberly Kinrade. Her book Bits of You & Pieces of Me is also just 99 cents BUT if you return to the site and fill out our fairly painless form, Kimberly will rebate the purchase price. #Woot! Also, you get five entries into my contest to win up to FIVE $10 Amazon Gift Cards!!

SECRET CONTEST: Purchase my book, then visit MY blog. Head over to me at RachelintheOC.com and leave me your favorite quote from the middle of A Walk In The Snark (to confirm purchase) and I will throw my own little Amazon Gift Card party!

Yep. Prove to me your undying love – okay, okay just show me you purchased my book – and I’ll enter your name into my own RachelintheOC.com drawing to win a $50 Amazon Gift Card! I will randomly choose TWO winners so that’s $100 worth of reader love. Who says you can’t buy love #Ijustcrackmyselfup

Please email me if you have any questions or comments at RachelintheOC@gmail.com or come visit my blog anytime RachelintheOC.com or Twitter or Facebook or Goodreads. I’m everywhere (except, ya know, the kitchen). I also cofounded the Indie Book Collective (along w/ founder Carolyn McCray) and teach writers ePublishing, social media and other cool stuff—find me on the @IndieBookIBC stream every day.

Special thanks to Carolyn for letting me guest blog today. No lasagnas were harmed in the making of this blog post.

I really should not interact with strangers...

Or even friends of friends of friends.

Let me set the stage.

I am fostering a puppy.  My receptionist's brother's best friend's niece might be interested.  But they want to meet the puppy.

Great!  Wait, what?  I have to be there.  #ohdear.

But I am brave and want this puppy to get a good home, so I say sure, come on over.  Wait, what?  They want to come over at 7:30pm?  Um, do they not realize that is just 1/2 hour before my bedtime?

But again, sure.  The puppy wants a good home.

For the first ten minutes I am so proud of myself.  I have not done anything stupid or weird or downright bizarre.

Then they want to meet Princess, because she sounded like a really cute Chihuahua.

I get very excited and jump up and right in front of them push out my chest, start unzipping my jacket and say "You're gonna love this!"

Ah, the look of pure horror on their faces.  I then clarify "I've got a Chihuahua in my bra."

Again, that clarification never seems to calm people down.

Luckily Chief, the Chihuahua that lives in my bra is pretty damn cute so as soon as he sticks his head out of my shirt, everyone calms down and stops dialing 911 (or at least waits before they hit 'dial') LOL

So again.  I really shouldn't interact with strangers #ever #youwouldthinkIwouldlearn