I have reached "Pre-Celebrity" Status... Could everyone please treat me like it?

Yes, that special day has come. I have reached "Pre-Celebrity" status.

And yes, of course, it is in my own mind, but where else does it really matter? LOL

I mean, how in the world am I ever going to get that coveted blue "Verified" check after all? (how nice would it look next to my pic, don't you think :-)

You might ask, what is the difference between a pre-celebrity and an actual, you know, celebrity?

Well, the one beautiful thing is that you don't need the outside world to convey it upon you. I am already there, baby! #justcuzIsaidso

What comes with this 'Pre-Celebrity' mantle you might ask? Well, for one thing, I think you should start laughing harder at my tweets and blogs. I mean, I am a pre-celebrity after all. It is my due #andIamtakingnames

I would like to say I am feeling generally superior to everyone, you know, you mere mortals, but alas that is saved for 'pre-diva' status (which I covet as well. #maybenextyear).

I also feel that I could now date someone of 'minor' celebrity status as long as he has some form of addiction or is on heavy psyche meds. Because I mean I AM trying to keep it real. #well #oraswellasIusuallydo

So, 'Pre-Celebrity' now. Blue Checked tomorrow. Real celebrity #whenhellfreezesover

And don't forget my novel Plain Jane is out! Now be forewarned, there is no pink and definitely no Ding Dongs.

My rebellious pen name @cristynwest went a wrote a book about mystery and mayhem. #weird

If you like Patterson or Silence of the Lambs, you can find Plain Jane at Smashwords (http://bit.ly/b60jVe. Watch the book trailer, listen to the audio excerpt, and even read over 50 pages of Plain Janefor free. I mean come on... #itcantgetbetterthanthat

Ok, actually it can! Here's a 50% off coupon (use at checkout): RH88E

So get over there and check it out already! I need that dang beautiful Blue Check!

Maybe I Can Stop Running Now...

I've been running (and not the good, exercise, lower your cholesterol kind) for a long time.

Two decades really.

I'll spare you the gory details of what set me aflight, but I think even if I did describe it all, 20 years of running is a tad excessive.

Only when you are running from something like that, you don't want to look back, actually it feels like you can't, so how would you know when you've achieved a safe distance so you can slow down?

It makes you afraid to stop anywhere, with anyone, for very long, let alone put down roots (things that could entangle you, trap you, make it impossible to make a quick escape).

Yet the other day I was cleaning sand off my dresser (yes, one of the many 'fun' things about living at the beach) I just thought, out of the blue, "Maybe I can stop running."

I burst into tears and I could feel the negative voices inside freak-the-f-out, but I also knew it was true.

I'm not sure if it was just the right time, the beach, or Twitter, but something fundamentally inside has shifted.

And yes, I did list Twitter in there. I think because it wasn't face to face, my usual 'anti-social' wall wasn't up quite so high and a number of people have snuck into my heart.

My new job as well (save, of course, my Nemesis, but even she is deliciously fun) has been a delight. None of the usual push-pull of my previous work relationships.

What will it feel like to be still? To be connected to something greater than myself?

I'm still not certain, but it already feels a hell of a lot better than burning rubber 24/7.

#andIpromiseareturn #tomassivehashtagoveruse #nextblog


And don't forget my novel Plain Jane is out!

Now be forewarned, there is no pink and definitely no Ding Dongs.

My rebellious pen name @cristynwest went a wrote a book about mystery and mayhem. #weird

If you like Patterson or Silence of the Lambs, you can find Plain Jane at Smashwords (http://bit.ly/b60jVe).

Watch the book trailer, listen to the audio excerpt, and even read over 50 pages of Plain Janefor free. I mean come on... #itcantgetbetterthanthat

Ok, actually it can! Here's a 50% off coupon (use at checkout): RH88E

Flying Post-Lost

I know flying changed radically after the terrorist attacks, but for me it has changed the most since the show Lost. #andofcourseIamaCandidate

I mean, come on, I was sitting there as the flight attendant started her safety speech.

Um, hello? I've seen Lost. I know all about that oxygen line that drops down. #duh

Keep your safety belts on. You never know when a mystical entity is going to jerk your plane from the sky. #doubleduh

And those seat cushions that conveniently float? Oh, I am all over that.

But ask me to sit in the tail section of the plane? Forget it!

I mean, I want a CHANCE at survival if the plane crashes. And we all know what happened to the bulk of the 'tailies.'

So don't even try to get me to sit back there. You can't make me.

Oh, well, I guess with the new Federal Laws, they can, but you know what I mean!

And yes, I do frequently make big life choices based on speculative fiction television series #whodoesnt.

As an example, on the flight to Phoenix last week, we had some of the worst turbulence I have ever experienced.

I mean drop from the sky a few hundred feet, seats rattling uncontrollably kind of turbulence.

But all I kept thinking was, if we go down and get stranded somewhere...

There aren't nearly enough hot guys on this plane to form an adequate love triangle.

And don't forget my novel Plain Jane is out!

Now be forewarned, there is no pink and definitely no Ding Dongs.

My rebellious pen name @cristynwest went a wrote a book about mystery and mayhem. #weird

If you like Patterson or Silence of the Lambs, you can find Plain Jane at Smashwords (http://bit.ly/b60jVe).

Watch the book trailer, listen to the audio excerpt, and even read over 50 pages of Plain Janefor free. I mean come on... #itcantgetbetterthanthat

Ok, actually it can! Here's a 50% off coupon (use at checkout): RH88E

I Love Meeting New People! #Iamtotallylying

I definitely, without a doubt, do NOT love meeting new people. They are strangers and you know what Momma said about strangers.

They look at you. And want to talk to you. And then, the horror of horrors, they expect you to talk back.

And at a conference people actually walk across a room to talk with you.

I have found there really is no where to hide (trust me I tried.)

Luckily #BloggyBootCamp was different than any other convention I have ever been to. The people here didn't seem to care that I was awkward.

They kind of dug it.

I only had to wander away once, eyes averted, from a conversation that belly-flopped! And only once during dinner did I feel like I wanted to just slide from my seat under the table (not feasible here since no table cloths. Which BTW #whatsupwiththat).

I mean, how awesome is that? #Iamcountingitasatotalscore

Then the actual day of the conference...

Ok, whose bright idea was it anyway for my best friend and I to 'divide and conquer?' To split up and go to two different sessions?

Had either of us met me?

Somehow I made it through the day, smiling, nodding my head, you know that stuff I see other people doing to one another.

Then 3pm hits. And I am DONE.

I mean, I have to suppress my flight response.

I suddenly know where all the exits are. I suddenly have a map in my head of the shortest route back to my room. I began seriously weighing how weird it would look if I got up, raised my hands above my head and ran screaming from the room. #becausereally #ifyouaregoingtomakeanexit #makeitbig

And, of course, the more interesting panel is at 4pm!

So, I know this is going to be hard to believe, but I sucked it up! I stayed.

#shockingIknow

I somehow muddled through dinner and the briefest appearance at a cocktail party in the history of mankind (in my defense I tasted the guacamole and found it lacking enough...avocado, so really does anyone blame me for leaving?).

The best part was the party was inside a gated pool area and I could not for the life of me figure out the latched gate.

So I stood there. What do I do? I can't go back to the party and say what...

"I'm Anti-Social, I'm fleeing you and this party but I'm too dumb to get out?"

I mean, I am Anti-Social but even I'm not going to say that out-loud!

#havestandards #veryveryveryverylowstandardsbutstandardsnonetheless


And don't forget my novel Plain Jane is out!

Now be forewarned, there is no pink and definitely no Ding Dongs.

My rebellious pen name @cristynwest went a wrote a book about mystery and mayhem. #weird

If you like Patterson or Silence of the Lambs, you can find Plain Jane at Smashwords (http://bit.ly/b60jVe).

Watch the book trailer, listen to the audio excerpt, and even read over 50 pages of Plain Janefor free. I mean come on... #itcantgetbetterthanthat

Ok, actually it can! Here's a 50% off coupon (use at checkout): RH88E

#BlogTribe

Hello there!

So you're here because you for some bizarre reason you have shown interest in joining my Blog Tribe (and yes, there will be virtual cupcakes #duh, its craftycmc).

1st off, a bit about it how this came about. The original idea came from the amazing Tiffany at #BloggyBootCamp.

Although, of course I have embellished it :-) #afailingofmine

Since I am super busy, I only want people within the tribe that are SUPER committed to not only growing their blog but their twitter account as well.

Here are a few perimeters I was thinking of...

You must solemnly swear that you are up to no -- Oh, wait, wrong pledge.

The Craftycmc Blog Tribe Pledge:
I commit to growing my Twitter account by at least 250 followers/month (preferably 500, if you don't know how to do that, I can help)

I commit to write at least one blog a week (ok, maybe you get a week off if you break your arm, or space aliens land, but it better be a good excuse!).

I commit to RTing everyone's #MentionMonday once each week (we will limit the tribe to 12 so we don't exhaust our non-blog followers and you should space out your RTs so it isn't a cluster-f :-).

I commit to follow each member's blog (even unanimously if you wish).

I commit to writing at least 1 comment on each member's blog at least once per week.

I commit to shouting out or RTing at least twice each member's blog through the rest of the week (again, I would space these out).

That's all I can think of for now, but I can guarantee you I will be the worst at follow-through, so I encourage if you notice I slipped up for you just to DM me and I will get right on it! :-)

If these terms sound completely awesome to you, then leave your vow of chastity-- again, wrong one...

Leave your commitment to the #CraftycmcBlogTribe and your blog URL so we can all get started following each other back!

Rock On!

Crap, I always hate when I think of something uber important AFTER I put in a great ending!

But, in case you don't know what #MentionMonday is, here is the link the primer :-)
http://bit.ly/aCmkSl

You Rock!

And don't forget my novel Plain Jane is out!

Now be forewarned, there is no pink and definitely no Ding Dongs.

My rebellious pen name @cristynwest went a wrote a book about mystery and mayhem. #weird

If you like Patterson or Silence of the Lambs, you can find Plain Jane at Smashwords (http://bit.ly/b60jVe).

Watch the book trailer, listen to the audio excerpt, and even read over 50 pages of Plain Janefor free. I mean come on... #itcantgetbetterthanthat

Ok, actually it can! Here's a 50% off coupon (use at checkout): RH88E